14 Things Guys Do Post-Sex That Drive Women Crazy — And Not In A Good Way

14 Things Guys Do Post-Sex That Drive Women Crazy — And Not In A Good Way ©iStock/mediaphotos

You had sex and it was hot as hell, but now it’s time for the potentially super awkward bit: the post-sex socializing. No matter how good it was, how he acts when it’s over can be enough to make you wish you never went there. Here are some of the worst things guys are guilty of after sex:

  1. Falling asleep right away. We get that sex can be exhausting (especially when done right), but passing out straight away is just selfish and insulting. You can have sex with us, but you can’t stay awake long enough to have a conversation? Jerk.
  2. Turning the TV on to watch sports. No, I don’t support football. And no, I don’t want to watch it. Let me just get my things and leave you two alone.
  3. Leaving the condom on the side table. Sex isn’t the most pleasant of aromas. Whether it’s sex, the condom, the semen… it’s all a bit, well, stinky. We definitely don’t want it lingering around us for any longer than the sexual act takes to perform. Put it in the trash.
  4. Wanting to cuddle before having a shower. Again, it’s all down to basic hygiene skills. We don’t mind hugging it out, but maybe after we’ve removed the sheen of sweat that covers our bodies.
  5. Not saying a word. Hello? You still there? Well? Was it good? Want to hop in the shower? Or would you like to watch a movie? Maybe grab some food? Anything! Just say something!
  6. Avoiding kissing you after you’ve given him head. There’s something seriously strange going on if he’s grossed out by your mouth after his penis has been in it.
  7. Staring at the condom after taking it off for way too long. No harm in checking the condom and making sure everything is in check (i.e. it didn’t break), but there’s about a 10-20 second unwritten rule for how long it should take you to inspect it.
  8. Immediately texting his friends. Whether he’s bragging about banging you, or just because he’s suddenly “bored” with you, it’s rude. You’ve spent some very intimate time together, and it’s nice to keep that intimacy private between the two of you, especially if you’re still in the room.
  9. Worrying aloud about his performance. It’s fine to check in after sex, but that “checking in” should be about our experience as well as yours. It’s not about you building up your ego, or calming your insecurities. If there was something exceptionally wrong, we’d voice it without you having to ask.
  10. Scrolling down social media straight away. There’s nothing quite like spotting you scrolling through Instagram straight after sex to make us feel super interesting and captivating. If I’m boring you, then feel free to make an excuse to have me leave rather than ignoring me for your social media feed.
  11. Asking if you came. Let’s face it: if you can’t tell if we came or not, then she probably hasn’t.
  12. Not helping you to find your clothes. It’s already kind of embarrassing being naked with you, especially after the sex has been had, but being naked around you while awkwardly looking for our clothes? Super awkward.
  13. Not putting it back in his pants. Its job is done, dude — time to tuck it back in. I don’t want it just staring at me for the next few hours.
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik