You’re dating this great guy and you like him a lot, but does he know how you feel or is he getting the vibe that you’re just not that into him? If you’re doing any of these things, you can’t blame him for thinking you’re just not into him.
- You talk about other guys. Maybe you assume it’s not a big deal to talk about how cute some other guy is or how a random dude hit on you at the bar the other night. You might think this is OK since you’re not that serious yet. Maybe you’re even trying to make him jealous. However, in his eyes, this means you see him as more of a friend than a potential boyfriend.
- You aren’t saying thank you. Especially in the beginning, it’s common for the guy to take charge, make plans, and frequently foot the bill. That doesn’t mean it should be expected or taken for granted, though. If you aren’t showing your appreciation, it comes across as a sense of entitlement and disinterest.
- You let him do all of the work. While he may take charge most of the time at the beginning, you should still be initiating plans and communication some of the time. It’s not enough to just show up and be charming. Make an effort. Surprise him with a date for once. At the very least, don’t let him always be the one to text or call you first.
- You don’t give him compliments. Guys compliment us all the time. It makes sense—we’re generally much easier on the eyes. But guys need some reinforcement as well. Just make sure it’s genuine and specific, but definitely let him know what you like about him. We’re not the only ones who enjoy a good (but sincere) ego boost.
- You text other people when you’re with him. This is just bad manners, regardless of whether you’re into a guy or not. Unless you’re spending all day with him, there’s no reason you can’t put down the phone for a few hours and focus your full attention on him.
- You don’t show interest in his friends. You don’t have to be all buddy-buddy with them, but you should at least make an effort to get to know them. If you don’t, it basically says that you don’t see yourself dating this guy for very long, so why bother?
- You’re difficult to impress. Nobody likes someone who responds to something they’re excited about with boredom or an “I know.” Or worse, trying to one-up them. It’s probably unintentional, but not sharing someone’s enthusiasm can be hurtful. If you really can’t get into anything he talks about, you clearly don’t like him, but if you’re just trying to play it cool, stop. Now.
- You hide calls, texts, or emails. I learned this one the hard way. I value my privacy, but I’m definitely not hiding anything. Still, it makes sense that it raises red flags in his eyes when you do this. If you must be sneaky, offer up a genuine reason so he doesn’t come to the wrong conclusion.
- You have constant Tinder notifications. You just started dating so there’s no reason to delete your Tinder account or stop swiping until that exclusivity talk happens. Still, if it’s been a few weeks and he’s seeing these notifications on your phone, it’s not exactly comforting. Easy fix? Turn off your notifications and check your messages in the app. If things are starting to get more serious and you still feel the need to swipe, ask yourself why.
- You don’t ask him enough about himself. If the conversation always revolves around you, he’s going to think that you just like the attention and don’t care who it’s coming from. In reality, talking about yourself might just be a nervous habit, but slow down and ask him about his life, his hobbies, his goals, or even his plans this weekend to show that you care about getting to know him.
- You shy away from opening up. If you change the subject every time the conversation gets serious, he may think you’re just looking for something casual. This doesn’t mean you should—be vulnerable before you’re comfortable with him. Instead, let him know that you’re not ready for that and that you want to take things slow.
- You’re not very affectionate. Sure, you return his kisses, but do you ever go for one yourself? If you don’t ever initiate physical affection, he might feel like you’re just not that attracted to him. It could seem like you’re just going through the motions.
- You forget to call or text him back. We all get busy, or maybe you’re just afraid of seeming too available. Make sure this isn’t happening too often or he’ll think he isn’t enough of a priority in your life. After all, it takes two seconds to send a text.
- You don’t show interest in his passions. You don’t have to love everything he cares about. Maybe you hate sports, but they’re all he talks about. Don’t pretend to like them to impress him, but do listen and show interest. Personally, I generally am not all that interested in my guy’s hobbies, but I do love his passion and enthusiasm for them.
