Breakups are never easy, but it’s definitely worse if you’re the one getting dumped – especially if you didn’t even see it coming. Since everyone has been there at some point, everyone also thinks they have some sort of profound advice to pass on that will make you feel better about suddenly being single, and it’s never as helpful as they think it is. At best, it’ll just make you roll your eyes, and at worst it’ll offensively question why you couldn’t manage to make your relationship work. But at least now you know what not to say next time someone you know gets dumped.
“Did he cheat on you?”
Not that I’m aware of, but now that you mention it, he was acting pretty weird about his phone for the last little while. Maybe I should ask him about it? (No, you shouldn’t)
“What did you do?”
Some people automatically assume you did something horrible for him to dump you without warning. But sometimes the relationship has just run its course, and if you’re honest to yourself, you probably saw this coming.
“I’m sure it was nothing you did.”
On the other hand, your friends are probably trying to reassure you that you’re great (which you are), and completely innocent of any wrongdoing. While you might not have done anything wrong, per se, a relationship takes two people, and it’s unlikely you were perfect 100% of the time.
“But you seemed so happy!”
Yeah, I thought so, too. Thanks for confirming we were the perfect couple. What if I never find that again?
“Maybe you’ll get back together.”
Irrational hope isn’t helping anyone. It’s in everyone’s best interest to believe him when he says it’s over, because you don’t want to get trapped in the on-again, off-again relationship cycle anyway.
“You’ll find someone else in no time.”
But I don’t want anyone else!
“Well, it’s his loss.”
That may be true, but your dismissive attitude isn’t appreciated here.
“Do you want me to set you up?”
Dating is the last thing on my mind right now, so I’m going to have to pass on that one.
“There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
First of all, this is a meaningless cliche. Second, right now the only fish I’m interested is the one that doesn’t want anything to do with me.
“You can do so much better.”
Not only does this dismiss the fact that I actually thought he was The One, but it’s just a mindless thing people say without thinking. Maybe I can’t do better. Ever think of that? Maybe he was the best I was ever going to do. Maybe it’s him that could do better!
“Well, he hit on me when you were out of town that one time anyway.”
And you’re just telling me this now? Some friend you are.
“Get over it.”
What do you think all this ice cream, venting, and watching romantic comedies in my pajamas is for? I’m working on it. A little sensitivity would go a long way though.
“I never liked him anyway.”
Either I already knew that and this is a subtle way to say “I told you so”, or this is actually the first time I’m hearing of this. Either way, keep it to yourself.
“I knew it.”
I wasn’t aware you were psychic. Thanks for the heads up.
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