15 Responses To Give Someone When You’re Not Actually Okay

15 Responses To Give Someone When You’re Not Actually Okay

We’ve all been in that spot where someone asks, “How are you?” and you’re far from “fine,” but you’re not sure how to say it. It’s important to be honest about your feelings, but finding the right words can be tricky. So, here are some responses that strike a balance between being truthful and not overloading the person asking.

1. “I’m Going Through a Tough Time.”

This response is honest but not overly detailed. It’s like opening the door a crack to let the person know you’re struggling, without throwing the door wide open. It invites empathy but doesn’t pressure you into sharing more than you’re comfortable with. It’s a way of acknowledging that you’re not okay, but also keeping your boundaries.

2. “Today’s a Bit Rough, Thanks for Asking.”

Here, you’re acknowledging that today isn’t your best day, but you’re also appreciating their concern. This response is like a gentle nudge to let them know that while things aren’t great, their kindness hasn’t gone unnoticed. It’s a subtle way of saying you’re not okay without diving into the details.

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4. “I’m Not Sure How I Feel Right Now.”

Sometimes, you might be in a funk and can’t quite put your finger on why. This response is honest about your uncertainty. It’s like saying, “I’m in a bit of a gray area right now.” It’s okay to not have all the answers to how you’re feeling, and this response communicates that.

5. “I Could Use Some Support.”

If you’re in a place where you could use a listening ear or a helping hand, this response is a direct yet gentle way to ask for help. It’s like sending out a little signal flare for support. It lets the person know that you’re struggling and opens the door for them to offer assistance in a way that feels right for you.

6. “I’m Dealing With a Lot, But I’m Managing.”

This response indicates that while you’re facing challenges, you’re also working through them. It’s like saying, “The waters are rough, but I’m still sailing.” It reassures the person that you’re coping, but also makes it clear that things aren’t entirely smooth.

7. “Not Great, But I Hope It Gets Better.”

This one acknowledges your current struggles but also expresses hope for improvement. It’s like a small beacon of optimism in a cloudy sky. It shows that while you’re not okay at the moment, you haven’t given up on things turning around.

8. “I’m a Bit Overwhelmed, but I’m Trying to Figure Things Out.”

Feeling overwhelmed is a common experience, and this response honestly expresses that. It’s like admitting you’re in deep water but are actively looking for a way to shore. It lets the person know that you’re in a tough spot but are taking steps to find your way out.

9. “Today Isn’t My Day, But Tomorrow Might Be Better.”

This response shows that you’re having a hard time today but are hopeful about the future. It’s like acknowledging the storm while keeping an eye out for the rainbow. It’s an honest yet optimistic way to express that you’re not okay right now.

10. “I’ve Been Better, But Thank You for Asking.”

By saying this, you’re letting them know that you’ve seen better days, but you also appreciate their concern. It’s like a small nod to your struggles, coupled with gratitude for their empathy. It opens the door to more conversation if you feel like it, but also stands as a complete response on its own.

11. “I’m Struggling a Bit, But I’m Working on It.”

This response is honest about your struggles but also shows your commitment to self-improvement and upgrading your life. It’s like admitting you’re climbing a steep hill but haven’t stopped moving forward. It lets the person know you’re facing difficulties but are actively trying to overcome them.

12. “Honestly, It’s a Challenging Time for Me.”

Sometimes, just being straightforward is the best approach. This response is like laying your cards on the table. It’s direct, honest, and opens the door for a deeper conversation if you feel like sharing more.

13. “I’m Not Okay Right Now, But I Don’t Feel Like Talking About It.”

It’s perfectly okay to not want to discuss your troubles. This response is like putting up a respectful sign that says, “Not open for discussion.” It acknowledges your state of mind while setting a clear boundary about your willingness to talk about it.

14. “I Appreciate Your Concern, I’m Just Not Ready to Talk.”

If you value their concern but aren’t in a place to discuss your feelings, this response is ideal. It’s like giving them a gentle thank you while also guarding your personal space. It acknowledges their empathy and lets them know that while you’re not okay, you’re not ready to delve into the details.

15. “I’m in a Bit of a Slump, But I’m Hanging in There.”

This response is for when you’re in a low spot but still holding on. It’s like saying, “It’s a tough ride, but I haven’t fallen off the horse.” It communicates your struggle in a relatable way, showing resilience despite the difficulties.

16. “Honestly, I’m Still Figuring That Out Myself.”

Sometimes, we’re in such a complex mix of emotions that we can’t quite describe how we feel. This response is like admitting that you’re still in the process of understanding your own emotions. It’s honest and shows self-awareness, while also indicating that you’re working through your feelings.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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