One of the most nerve-racking parts of a first date is how hard it is to tell if the other person is actually into you and might like to see you again. If you struggle with this, here are some signs you don’t need to stress—you’ve had a great first date.
You immediately felt comfortable with him. First impressions aren’t everything, but they do count for something. When you walk into a first date and immediately feel at ease with someone, that’s a good sign that you’re both on the same wavelength and the date won’t just be filled with tons of awkward silence. When you think about it, you can usually tell how a date will go in the first five minutes.
It was easy to have a laugh together. If you can’t laugh with him, how will you make it through the tough times and build a huge memory bank of silly inside jokes? If you found yourself involuntarily cracking up multiple times throughout the date even when he wasn’t trying that hard to be funny, that’s a serious sign that there’s a spark between the two of you.
He seemed to actually put time into thinking about a fun first date. Thinking of date ideas isn’t always easy, so be willing to give a little slack here, but it’s really cool when a guy can get creative. There’s nothing inherently wrong with just grabbing dinner or drinks, but if things are going, well it’s always cool to have a fun “next thing” on the docket. That might mean more bars, or it could be a fun night of bowling or laser tag. If your guy cared enough to put time into thinking about a fun, unique date, that’s a great sign.
He was courteous and respectful. This seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised. Every person has slightly different expectations for what they want from a prospective boyfriend. Maybe this means him opening the door for you, maybe this means buying dinner, or maybe it just means showing you respect and not being a total a-hole. If he was super chivalrous and treated you with respect and dignity, he could be a keeper.
You never had to stop to think about what to talk about next. The conversation came super organically and you never felt like you ran out of stuff to talk about. Instead, one line of conversation led to another until you were both far down some rabbit hole of absurd hilarity. If that sounds like your evening, congrats—you’ve just had a good date.
You rarely felt anxious or stressed out. First dates are inherently going to be pretty stressful—that’s totally normal, even on a good one—but if that feeling of anxiety subsided by the end of the night, that’s a sign that you guys were building a strong connection with each other.
Neither of you spent any time on your phones. People start mindlessly scrolling through their phones when they’re bored. If neither of you picked yours up while you were together, that means you were too busy enjoying each other’s company and not thinking about what’s going on on Instagram or Snapchat.
The date went longer than planned. One of the best signs of a good first date is when it goes late. When a date isn’t going well, finishing a drink or a cup of coffee is a good excuse to get up and get going. When you’re feeling each other, you want to keep talking to the person and get to know them better. If you guys finished dinner and then decided to walk around town or hit up another few bars, that’s a great sign that he wants to talk to you again.
He brought up his friends at some point. People bring up their friends and tell stories about them when they feel comfortable around someone. They also bring up their friends when they think there’s a possibility you might meet them someday. If he was envisioning you meeting his friends in his mind, that’s a sign you might be seeing each other again.
You had an inside joke by the end of the date. If you have a funny little joke just between the two of you before you leave, that’s a sign that you guys had a really intense connection.
You talked about something you might do in the future. When a guy wants to get out of a date or thinks things aren’t really going that well, they definitely don’t bring up the idea of hanging out again later. Instead, he’s trying to get out of the room as fast as possible and hope that you don’t text him later. If you guys talked about a restaurant you should totally check out together or a concert with a cool artist you both like, that’s a serious green flag.
He asked you a lot of questions and actually seemed interested in the answers. When people describe horrible dates, they often talk about conceited guys who can’t stop talking about how cool they are. When a guy slows down to listen to what you have to say and engage in a conversation, it’s because he actually gives AF and wants to know more about you. Now THAT’s a good date.
You both added each other on social media after the date. If he wants to connect with you on Instagram, he probably wants to connect again IRL. It’s as simple as that.
He kissed you goodnight (or something more). Nothing seals the deal on a good first date like a soft, heart-fluttering kiss. Of course, if the date went really well, you might’ve done something even more than just kiss, but that’s your business. If he decides to lay one on you at the end of the evening (with your permission, of course), this is one of the biggest signs your date went well.
He texted you relatively soon after the date was over. Uh, duh. You just might be getting into a new relationship soon.
How to have a good first date
Now that you know the signs a first date went well with a guy, you need to cement how to have a positive experience in the first place. While this isn’t always possible — you can’t force chemistry that doesn’t exist — there are a few things you can do to push things in the right direction.
Pick the right spot. You can’t have a good date if it’s taking place at a place you both hate. While it’s fun to try new things, make sure it’s something both of you at least have the potential to enjoy. For instance, don’t agree to try a new sushi place when you hate fish and don’t force him to go to a theme park when he’s afraid of rides. Go for a low-key location that will give you something to do but also time to talk. That means also avoiding concerts or noisy bars. How can you get to know each other if you can’t even hear each other speak?
Whatever you wear, dress to kill. This doesn’t mean you have to show up in a mini-dress with tons of cleavage but rather that you should dress in something that makes you feel like you’re the queen of the entire world. What makes you feel like hot s**t? That can be a pair of jeans and a vintage t-shirt even — whatever it is, just make sure you feel confident. When you feel hot, you’ll come off as hot and your date will definitely take notice.
Take the pressure off. We’re always primed and looking for signs a date has gone well, but relax! It’s a first date, not a marriage proposal. There’s no life and death element here, so take things for what they are. You’re going out for the night with someone new and at best could meet a potential boyfriend and at worst you hopefully just did something fun that left you with a story to tell. The less pressure you put on the situation, the better.
Ask good questions and actually listen to the answers. While you don’t want to overwhelm the guy with a million and one prying questions on the first date, if you want to get to know him and whether or not you have a lot in common, you should ask some thoughtful questions. Then, listen to how he answers. Don’t just use it as an excuse to start talking about yourself again. Guys hate that.
Display positive body language and keep an eye on his. If you like him, show him by maintaining open body language. Don’t sit with your arms crossed or with a scowl on your face because he’ll definitely think you’re not into him. Also, to find out if he’s on the same page, pay attention to how he holds himself. Is he leaning in closer to you? Is he touchy-feely? Does he seem upbeat? This will tell you a lot of what you need to know.
Know when to call it a night. Even good dates need to come to an end at some point, so know when to say goodnight. There’s something to be said for keeping a guy wanting more, and keeping a bit of mystery and intrigue alive until you meet again is a good thing. Also, if you know you’re definitely not into him or he’s clearly not into you, don’t be afraid to cut the evening short. No use in wasting time.