No Matter How Much You Love Him, Here Are 15 Signs You Have To Let Him Go

You’re holding onto your guy and the relationship, but are you just getting sore hands for nothing? All couples go through the occasional blip, but there comes a time when you’re better off throwing in the towel. Perhaps these signs are trying to show you that it’s time to cut your losses, let him go, and start a new chapter in your life—without him.

  1. Your arrows are pointing in different directions. Yes, you love him, but you’ve got totally different ideas for the future. He wants to travel the world and you’d like to have kids. You want to live in Europe but he’s keen to head to Australia. You’re geographically and/or spiritually headed in different directions, which means that sooner or later the relationship will have to break apart so you can shoot into your separate paths. Why not just leave it now?
  2. You don’t lust after him. Lust isn’t the only important thing, of course, but you want to feel chemistry! You shouldn’t be in a relationship where you feel you’re not attracted to your partner or the sex feels like a chore. If so, what you’ve got is a friendship, not a relationship.
  3. He’s a drama king. He always seems to attract drama, whether it’s in the workplace or his social circle. And guess what? He’s sure to bring some of it your way seeing as though you’re the one he’s spending most of his time with. Nah-uh. Drama kings are exhausting, toxic, and selfish AF.
  4. He’s needy. You might think you can spot a needy guy by how much he turns to you for solutions to his messed up life, but sometimes it’s much more subtle than that. You can tell he’s needy if he’s quick to fall in love with you, turning you into the center of his universe. Warning bells should ring, not a romantic soundtrack. If someone’s that desperate for your love, you have to wonder why. It’s clear he’s missing something in his life and expects you to fill it. That’s not healthy—and it’s creepy AF.
  5. He treats you like you’re ordinary. Do you feel special around him? Do you feel like he’d want to be with you no matter what? Do you feel he’d fight for you? If not, you’re wasting all your best qualities and self-worth on this guy. As the great writer Oscar Wilde said, “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”
  6. You love him but… You’re simply not in love with him. You care for him and want the best for him, you enjoy his company—hell, you might even love the sex, but you don’t feel like you’re in love with him. You don’t feel butterflies when you see him and you certainly don’t feel alive or like your best self around him. See where this is going? It’s like he’s your best friend, not your boyfriend.
  7. You feel anxious during future talk. When he brings up the future and all the amazing things you can do together, you feel stressed out and perhaps even sick. You don’t actually want to have a future with this guy and your body’s trying to tell you that. If a man doesn’t make you feel excited, the love is gone. Why would you be with him?
  8. You just can’t seem to trust him. Maybe he betrayed you once or he’s never done anything to make you distrust him but you can’t shake the feeling that he’s untrustworthy. Listen to your gut! Don’t stick around until it proves you right.
  9. You’re happier without him. You might have a good time with him but when you’re on your own, you have such a better time! Perhaps it’s because you feel free to do whatever you want or you don’t feel weighed down by him. Whatever the case, that feeling’s telling you that it’s time to choose yourself over him.
  10. Your relationship’s a verbal boxing ring. You fight all the time. It’s not even the healthy kind of fighting that gets resolved and that makes you feel you and your partner can work out your issues. No, this is the kind of fighting that happens too regularly and leaves you feeling unsettled, misunderstood and seriously unhappy afterward. Ugh.
  11. He’s holding you back. If it feels like you can’t be your true self, achieve your dreams, or live the life you want to because he’s in your life, then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping you from being happy.
  12. You’ve lost yourself. Perhaps your friends have noticed this and you’re still not seeing it. If you’ve lost yourself, you can tell by how you don’t have time for your passions and hobbies anymore, you don’t really know what you think or feel and you’re always trying to make your partner happy instead of yourself. Time to go and get yourself back!
  13. He slowed down after the chase. He put in lots of effort when he was courting you but once he locked you down as his girlfriend, all that attention and love started to fade a little. It feels like he just wanted to have you but now that he does, he’s bored with you. Ugh. You deserve someone who treats you with love and respect and gives you their full interest. He’s got to keep making an effort to keep you if he deserves you.
  14. Your confidence drops when he walks into the room. You might not feel less confident or worthy around him all the time, but when it happens it hurts you in a big way. Maybe he mocks you, makes you feel stupid/clueless, or makes sarcastic comments when you try to speak to him about something important. None of this is what a loving partner should be doing. This guy’s a jerk.
  15. He’s micro-cheatingHe might not be sleeping with someone else but he’s doing things that feel dodgy, even though he tries to write them off as silly. For instance, he flirts with other women, doesn’t mention that you’re his GF when introducing you to people, confides in female friends instead of you, and has inappropriate relationships with his exes. Yikes. It might be called “micro cheating” but it sure as hell feels like a betrayal.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.