16 Qualities To Look For In A Good Man

We tend to joke that “men are trash,” but honestly, there are lots of good eggs out there. You need to work on distinguishing genuine kindness from “nice guys” who actually aren’t that nice at all. Here are 16 qualities to look for in a good man.

1. He wants you to spend time with your friends. He doesn’t expect to be the center of your world. He’s happy to see you go out and have a good time with your friends. Not only that, but when you’re with them, he’s not constantly calling and texting you for minute-by-minute updates. He doesn’t need to invite himself every time you spend time with your friends either. This is one of those qualities in a good man that’s about something much bigger — name, him being secure enough to let you have your own life.
2. He’s nervous meeting your loved ones. The people important to you are important to a good man, and nervousness around them, at least at first, is one of the most endearing qualities he can have. Een if he’s a confident guy, the idea of meeting your loved ones will be somewhat daunting. A friend once pointed out that a guy I once dated, who turned out to be horrible, wasn’t nervous meeting them at all; he was smug, rude, and didn’t care if he got their approval. Meanwhile, my boyfriend was nervous meeting the same friends for the first time because he valued what they were going to think of him. There is a night and day difference in how I’m being treated.
3. He’s not jealous. He trusts you and doesn’t project any insecurities onto you. He’s not going to make baseless cheating allegations if another person so much as looks in your direction. This isn’t just one of the most important qualities in a good man but it’s a must-have if you’re looking for a long-term relationship.
4. He can communicate without raising his voice. Relationships can’t survive without direct and honest communication. If something upsets him, he can (and should!) address it with you in a clear, composed manner. Likewise, you can call him out without it turning into a screaming match. That’s not to say that you’ll never argue, but a good man knows that respect doesn’t just fly out the window in favor of more troubling qualities like a terrible temper and or being immature and pulling the silent treatment.
5. He treats everyone with respect. He’s kind to everyone. If you go out to dinner, he’s polite to the staff. Even if he’s nice to you, if he treats everyone else like dirt, he could turn on you one day. A good man values his kindness, consideration, and respect towards others as one of his most treasured qualities, and that’s a good sign.
6. He’s responsible for himself. He doesn’t expect you to become a maid, therapist, and a second mom all in one. He can take care of himself perfectly fine without you. He lets you support him during a rough patch, but he doesn’t put it all on you to literally fix his life.
7. He takes responsibility for his actions. No one’s perfect, even him. When he makes a mistake, he can fess up and take full accountability without blaming others for the poor decisions he made. This shows a huge amount of maturity.
8. He listens. Listening is one of those qualities that’s largely absent in most people, but a good man has mastered it. He actually listens to what you say and takes it seriously. If he asks you about your day, he actually pays attention to your answer. If you tell him something about yourself, he actually remembers it. If you set a boundary, he doesn’t put words in your mouth and start arguing a point you never even brought up. Again, no one is perfect, but you shouldn’t have to try to set the same boundary multiple times. At a certain point, it becomes clear whatever you say immediately goes in one ear and out the other.

More qualities to look for in a good man

1. He’s consistent. He’s not hot and cold. He’s consistently able to make time to speak to you and see you. You never leave an encounter worried he might be losing feelings, only for him to be all over you the next time you meet up. He also doesn’t withhold affection to mess with your feelings.
2. He’s not threatened by your success. A good man appreciates all of your wonderful qualities, including your ambition. He wants you to go as well as you possibly can. He’s not going to be threatened if you’re more educated than him, if you earn more, or if your job is considered more prestigious. He’s rooting for you, even if it means you’re earning more than him or would be considered more successful in a conventional sense.
3. He doesn’t beat around the bush. He’s not going to lead you on or rather mislead you. If he has no intention of being in a serious relationship or being monogamous, he lets you know early on. If the idea of not having kids is a deal-breaker, he’ll tell you that too. You never need to worry if he’s hiding something from you or feel unsure of where you stand. O
4. He makes time for the things he cares about. Everyone has their own life and responsibilities. If he has a busy week at work, he won’t be able to see you much. But, generally speaking, he will put time and effort in when something matters to him, be it you, his family, or friends. When this is one of his qualities that shines the brightest, you know you’ve found a good man.
5. He’s generous. You’re not in a relationship to be showered with gifts, but generosity is a nice trait. Maybe he donates money to charity often and buys you something small every now and then so you know he was thinking about you.
6. He doesn’t push your boundaries. No is a complete sentence. He doesn’t push, beg, or plead if you say no. He’s not going to make you feel bad for having boundaries even if he doesn’t fully understand them. A good man knows this is one of the most vital qualities he can possess.
7. He can agree to disagree. You won’t always agree on absolutely everything. When small disagreements come up, he’s able to accept your feelings and beliefs. He’s comfortable with you being your own person and is not going to try to force his will on you or shape you into who he wants you to be.
8. He doesn’t objectify you. You are a whole person. Attraction is a big part of relationships, but there’s a time and a place for getting steamy. He doesn’t constantly sexualize you or try to make a move on you all the time, even when it’s inappropriate. Of all the qualities on the list, this is a must not just for a good man, but for basically anyone you cross paths with.