Imposter syndrome is way more common than you think, no matter how confident you usually are, and it can make you feel like you’re totally alone. If you struggle with tons of self-doubt, you’re definitely not the only one. Here are some sneaky ways imposter syndrome might be messing with you – chances are, you’ll see yourself in a few of them.
1. You don’t trust yourself.
Imposter syndrome is characterized by the constant feeling that you’re not talented, that your previous successes weren’t real, and that other people around you are more qualified than you. Your brain doesn’t want to trust the evidence in front of it. Where other people can rely on their memories of previous achievements to boost their confidence, people with imposter syndrome just don’t trust themselves.
2. You always need external validation.
People with imposter syndrome don’t have a strong sense of belief in themselves, so they constantly look for approval from others. They hope other people will recognize the worth they can’t find in themselves. This outside praise might give them a small, temporary confidence boost, but that good feeling never lasts – the self-doubt always creeps back in.
3. You can never accept a compliment.
Even though you desperately want others to validate you, it’s hard to accept compliments. Your mind twists them, making you think people are just being nice or feeling sorry for you. People with imposter syndrome just don’t understand that the only real way to feel secure is to build confidence from within, not rely on outside opinions.
4. You rely on your friends’ opinions.
When you are plagued with imposter syndrome, you’ll never be the person in the friendship group who leads decisions or logistics. Even though you’re more than capable, you leave that to other people and get by following them and their opinions rather than voicing your own.
5. You’re always close to a breakdown.
One misconstrued sentence — even if intended to be positive — could be all it takes to bring down the day if you have imposter syndrome. It’s a delicate balance that you find hard to maintain. The littlest thing could set you off and set what little confidence you have crumbling to dust.
6. Some days, you think you’re worthless.
Everyone has bad days. However, if you have imposter syndrome, these days are more extreme. Every thought will contribute to the spiral and it will take all the energy out of you. When the chips are down, a person with imposter syndrome struggle to believe that they even have the skills to stop crying and go to work.
7. Your mood is very changeable.
An unexpected trait of imposter syndrome is having a pretty volatile personality — not in an aggressive way, but in an uncontrollable way. Because you feel so unable to rely on your own experiences and knowledge, you always put yourself in a position of vulnerability. With that comes a very changeable personality — and a whole lot of mood swings.
8. You overthink a lot.
It can be extremely tiring being friends with a person who has imposter syndrome, but it’s even more exhausting being in that person’s head. You often have less capacity to socialize at the end of a day of overthinking, and it’s a vicious cycle that isolates you even more!
9. You’re always late submitting things.
Because of your tendency to overthink things, be a perfectionist, and get caught in the weeds editing all of your projects, you typically get overwhelmed and end up submitting them late. It’s hard for you to follow a set schedule because you’re always doubting if the work you’ve done on a given task is good enough. It’s almost to the point that you’d rather not turn it in at all!
10. You don’t take criticism well.
On account of your reliance on other’s people’s opinions of you, you have a very bad relationship with receiving criticism. As a result, you never learn how to listen and take on board the feedback, and end up making the same mistakes. You need to break the cycle.
11. You were an overachiever as a child.
People with imposter syndrome as adults often achieved a lot as a child and got used to the success that came from their hard work. However, when everyone else caught up, the advantage you had was lost and started the spiral of comparing yourself to your friends and past versions of yourself.
12. You never recognize your own success.
You could have seven Nobel Prizes, but if you also have imposter syndrome, you’ll never see your achievements as things that are permanent or impressive. You’ll always find a way of dismissing them or decontextualizing them as something exceptional and only made possible because of unique conditions that will (in your mind, at least) never happen again. Your success wasn’t just luck!
13. You’re constantly comparing yourself to others.
It’s easier than ever to compare yourself to other people, whether in terms of your career, your relationship, or even your physical appearance. Everyone thinks they’re running behind sometimes — it’s natural. However, people with imposter syndrome worry more than others that they just don’t stack up against everyone else.
14. You lack self-belief.
Having genuine self-belief is the antidote to lots of the issues associated with having imposter syndrome. Until you get it — and mean it — you’ll remain stuck in the cycle of craving and denying meaningful validation. It can ruin your dating and professional life.
15. You worry you’ll never achieve your dreams.
Because you see yourself through such a specific, warped lens, it’s hard for you to envisage your future. This is particularly true if you have (or had) ambitious dreams that, in your current mindset, you don’t think you’re capable of achieving. Start manifesting and don’t wait for your future to come to you!
16. You struggle to deal with change.
Change can be hard for lots of young people when we’re experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly of the world for the first time. However, if you want to get better at taking risks, embracing new challenges, and growing as a person, you need to look your imposter syndrome in the eye and learn how to overcome change in your life.
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