21 Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You — A Complete Guide

We’ve all been there – that uneasy feeling when texts go unanswered, calls go to voicemail, and it feels like your boyfriend is MIA. It’s frustrating, confusing, and can make you feel a little lost. But before jumping to conclusions or drafting that dramatic breakup text, take a moment. However, there are plenty of things to consider and actions to take when your boyfriend ignores you and it feels like he’s giving you the silent treatment.

It sucks when someone who’s supposed to care about you acts in a way that’s contrary to that. If he’s going through stuff or has an issue, he should speak up about it, right? Unfortunately, some guys struggle to talk about their emotions, and that means you can often end up being left in the lurch. Here’s how to handle the situation.

What to do when your boyfriend ignores you

  1. Think before reacting. Before anything else, take a step back and reflect. Did something significant happen recently? Maybe an argument, a misunderstanding, or a tough conversation? It’s crucial to evaluate if there’s an underlying reason for this sudden shift. This isn’t about putting the blame on yourself, but rather understanding the context. If you can pinpoint a specific event, it might help in approaching the situation with clarity.
  2. Stay busy — you have a life, don’t you? It’s easy to spiral into overthinking mode when you’re waiting for that reply. Instead of watching the clock, keep yourself engaged. Dive into that book you’ve been meaning to read, try out a new hobby, or go for a jog. Keeping your mind and body active can help distract you from negative thoughts and anxiety.
  3. Speak up and talk to him about it. After giving it some time, reach out. But avoid sounding accusatory. Instead, express concern and the fact that you’ve noticed the distance. A simple, “Hey, I’ve noticed we haven’t been communicating as much. Is everything okay?” can open the door for a conversation. It’s all about creating a safe space for both of you to share your feelings.
  4. Spend time with other people in your life that matter. When in doubt, lean on your support system. Whether it’s family or friends, surround yourself with those who uplift you. Sometimes, discussing the situation with someone close can provide a fresh perspective or just the simple comfort of being heard. Plus, catching up and laughing with loved ones can be a great mood lifter in uncertain times.
  5. Avoid blowing up his phone. It’s tempting to send text after text, hoping one will get a response. But bombarding him with messages can push him further away. Send one or two texts expressing your concern and then give him space. If he’s going through something, he might need time to process before he’s ready to talk.
  6. Journal your feelings — it feels good to get them out. Writing down your emotions can be therapeutic. Grab a notebook and let your feelings flow. It’s a judgment-free zone where you can be as raw and real as you need to be. Journaling allows you to process your emotions, and you might even gain some clarity about the situation.
  7. Stay off social media. It might sound cliché, but social media can be a minefield when you’re feeling vulnerable. Resist the urge to stalk his profiles or post passive-aggressive quotes. Not only does it not help the situation, but you’re also sharing your personal issues with the world. Take a break, detox, and focus on real-life interactions.
  8. Reflect on your relationship patterns.  Take a moment to think about your relationship dynamics. Is this the first time he’s gone MIA, or has it happened repeatedly? Recognizing patterns can help in understanding whether this behavior is an isolated incident or a recurring issue that needs addressing.
  9. Don’t forget a bit of self-care. While it’s natural to focus on the relationship, don’t forget about yourself. Now’s the time to engage in some self-care. Whether it’s a spa day, meditation, or just binge-watching your favorite show, do what makes you feel pampered and relaxed. Recharging your batteries ensures you approach any conversation with a clear mind.
  10. Consider couples therapy if there’s a serious breakdown. If communication breaks down often or if you find yourself regularly feeling ignored, it might be worth seeking couples’ counseling. Professionals can offer tools and strategies to improve communication and address underlying issues. Even if he’s not on board, individual counseling can provide personal insights and coping mechanisms.
  11. Get outside and spend some time in nature. There’s something healing about nature. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike, or just sitting by the beach, it can help clear your mind. The calmness and serenity can provide a much-needed respite from the chaos of overthinking and worry. Plus, a little fresh air and exercise never hurt anyone!
  12. Make plans for the future — with or without him. It’s essential to focus on the future rather than getting stuck in the present situation. Think about what you’d like to do in the coming weeks or months. Maybe plan a solo trip or a girls’ night out. Having something to look forward to can shift your focus from the current stress.
  13. Set clear boundaries around how he treats you. If you feel like you’re being ignored or sidelined frequently, it’s crucial to set boundaries. Everyone deserves respect and understanding in a relationship. Let him know that being ignored or left in the dark isn’t acceptable. Setting clear boundaries ensures that both partners know what’s expected and can work towards a healthier dynamic.
  14. Do the things you love and that make you happy. Rediscover passions that might have taken a back seat. Whether it’s painting, dancing, or any hobby that you love – dive back in. Engaging in activities you’re passionate about can be a great way to boost your mood and self-esteem.
  15. Don’t jump to conclusions. It’s natural to assume the worst when someone goes silent, but there could be various reasons for his behavior. He might be swamped at work, dealing with personal issues, or just needing some alone time. While it’s essential to address the lack of communication, avoid creating scenarios in your head without knowing the facts.
  16. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. After giving it some time, suggest meeting up for an in-person chat. Face-to-face conversations can be more effective than texting, as they eliminate misunderstandings that can arise from written words. Choose a neutral, calm setting, and approach the conversation with an open mind, ready to listen as much as speak.
  17. Educate yourself a bit. There’s a wealth of books, podcasts, and articles on relationships and communication. Delve into some of these resources. You might pick up on insights about relationship dynamics or even ways to communicate more effectively. Knowledge is power, and understanding more about human behavior can offer clarity.
  18. Reconnect with yourself — it’s too easy to get lost when you’re part of a couple. In relationships, it’s easy to lose a bit of yourself. Use this time to rekindle your relationship with yourself. Remember the things that make you unique, and embrace them. Celebrate your individuality. This self-connection not only boosts your confidence but also reinforces the idea that your happiness isn’t solely tied to another person.
  19. Seek support from your social circle. If you feel alone in your situation, talk to your friends about it. Chances are, they may have been through the same before. Sharing your feelings with people who have been through similar situations can offer comfort. Plus, you might receive advice to help you feel better.
  20. Reflect on what you want and need. While it’s essential to be understanding and patient, it’s equally crucial to recognize your own needs. Ask yourself what you truly want from the relationship and whether those needs are being met. It’s a chance to introspect and determine if the relationship aligns with your long-term goals.
  21. Be prepared for anything. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes relationships don’t work out, and that’s okay. It’s essential to be prepared for any outcome, whether that’s reconciling and moving forward stronger or realizing that perhaps you’re better off apart. Remember, you deserve a relationship where you feel valued and heard.

What does it mean when your boyfriend ignores you?

When your boyfriend starts giving you the cold shoulder, it can be a real head-scratcher. Silence, especially when unexpected, stirs a cocktail of emotions: confusion, frustration, and even a pinch of insecurity. It’s like you’ve suddenly been handed a puzzle, but half the pieces are missing.

First off, let’s get one thing straight: being ignored isn’t a pleasant feeling for anyone. It can make you question your worth in the relationship, or worse, your worth in general. But diving down that rabbit hole of self-doubt isn’t the answer. Instead, it’s time to put on your detective hat and try to understand what’s truly going on.

When your boyfriend ignores you, it can be jarring. However, the reasons for the silent treatment can be vast and varied. Maybe he’s swamped at work and genuinely forgets to respond. We’re all human, and sometimes life gets in the way. Or perhaps he’s grappling with personal issues. Everyone has moments where they need a bit of space to process things.

On the flip side, there might be underlying relationship concerns. Has there been a recent argument or a change in your dynamics? Sometimes, people pull back when they’re unsure of how to address a problem, or they’re mulling over something that’s been said.

But here’s the kicker: continuously being sidelined or feeling like an afterthought isn’t something to brush off. Open communication is the backbone of any relationship. If the silent episodes are more frequent than the conversations, it’s crucial to address it head-on.

Regardless of the reason, it’s essential to remember that your feelings are valid. While it’s crucial to approach the situation with understanding, it’s equally important to ensure you’re being treated with the respect and consideration you deserve. Every relationship faces its hurdles, but working through them with empathy and open dialogue is key to ensuring they’re just bumps in the road and not deal-breakers.

How to get your boyfriend’s attention when he’s ignoring you

Navigating a relationship can sometimes feel like treading a fine line between understanding and asserting oneself. When your boyfriend seems distant or ignores you, it can be challenging not to jump to conclusions or let emotions take the driver’s seat. But grabbing his attention doesn’t necessarily require grand gestures or dramatic confrontations. Instead, it’s about striking a balance between empathy and self-respect.

First, it’s always a good idea to approach the situation with calmness. Charging in guns blazing rarely results in productive conversations. If it feels like he’s drifted into his own bubble, try initiating a calm, open dialogue. Opt for face-to-face discussions; they tend to be more personal and direct than texts or calls. Choose a setting that’s relaxed and free from distractions – maybe during a quiet evening at home or during a walk in the park.

Express your feelings using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. Saying “I feel ignored when we don’t talk as much” is much more constructive than “You always ignore me.” By focusing on your feelings, you make it easier for him to understand your perspective without feeling attacked.

While communication is key, it’s also essential to maintain a sense of independence. Engage in activities that make you happy and fulfilled, whether it’s diving back into a hobby, spending time with friends, or focusing on personal growth. Sometimes, the act of seeing you thrive and embrace your passions can be a nudge for him to reconnect.

Remember, relationships are a two-way street. While it’s crucial to make an effort to bridge any gaps, it’s equally important for him to meet you halfway. If the distance persists, consider seeking external help, like couples counseling. Professionals can provide tools and strategies to navigate complex relationship dynamics.

Lastly, always trust your gut. If something feels off, it’s worth addressing. But it’s equally essential to remember that everyone has off days or phases where they’re more introspective. The key is ensuring that these phases don’t become the norm, but rather exceptions in a relationship grounded in mutual respect and understanding.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill
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