I pride myself on being super independent, especially in a relationship. There isn’t a bill I let my guy pay without catching hell or trouble I let him go through on my behalf without an acute assessment of my own self-worth. I crave doing for myself, living for myself, and being for myself. That being said, there are times when I need him to take control because even the most independent woman needs someone to lean on from time to time. This is when I need him to take control.
When I lose my work-life balance
As you may know, there is no magic formula for having a successful career and a satisfying personal life. It’s all about choices and priorities. But sometimes it’s pretty clear when I’m all out of whack because either my work schedule is hectic, leaving me zero time for my personal life, or my personal life is pulling me in all directions and leaving me zero time to focus on my job. It’s times like these when I need my man to step in and support me. The way he shows that support can be anywhere from helping me map out my schedule for a super busy upcoming week or handle some personal things that I cannot get done because there aren’t enough hours in the week.
When I can’t make a decision about something that affects both of us
Here’s a secret about me: I am extremely indecisive. It’s not that I can’t make a decision, my problem is that I spend endless amounts of time weighing the pros and the cons of every single side of every single option until I’m exhausted. It just takes me a long time! It’s usually not a problem if I’m the only one affected. I can live my indecisive life by myself according to my own timeline, but it’s a problem when someone else is involved. It’s times like these that I need my guy to swoop in and save the day. Otherwise, if the decision is about where we are going to dinner, we may never make it there in the first place.
When I feel anxious
Like many people, I struggle with anxiety. I’m talking about the crippling anxiety that can grab a hold of your thoughts and completely shut you down. The kind you can feel in your throat, in your gut, and that makes your mind and heart race each other. It’s arresting. It’s hard to describe and it’s even harder to endure. I’ve learned how to manage my anxiety disorder, but sometimes it comes out and threatens to ruin my day and my life. When this happens I rely on my guy to identify it and help me nip it in the bud. I rely on him to take control and steer me back into a safe place that doesn’t give so much power to the anxiety chemicals in my brain. As much as I’d love to think I can do it all by myself, it’s really nice to have someone I trust to help me through these crippling moments in my life.
In the bedroom
I am so independent in so many areas of my life that sometimes I just really need my boyfriend to take control in the bedroom. ‘Nuff said. No real explanation needed. I’m not into the strict dom/sub thing, but this is one place that I am willing to give up a little bit of my control and just let myself feel.
When something happens with my car
Not to sound like a basic bitch, but I hate dealing with car issues. Tires deflated? Cool, I’ll ask my partner to fill them up. Need gas? Awesome, I’ll Venmo him but I will ask him to fill it up for me. I’m usually not this high maintenance but I hate having a car and I hate caring for it. I don’t understand cars, I don’t want to understand cars, and they stress me out. It’s a weird hang-up of mine. Sorry, not sorry!
When I’m feeling unmotivated
Despite being the super intense career-oriented woman, sometimes I lack all motivation. Sometimes I just don’t feel as competent or as confident about what I am doing as I would like to feel. On those occasions when I’m lacking motivation and confidence, I need my guy to help pick me and up and help me get back on track.
When I’m feeling homesick
I live far from much of my family and friends. As a result, I do miss them dearly from time as the daily grind honestly does take a toll. In these situations, when I’m feeling like I miss every single thing about my hometown and my people, it makes me feel good when my man can help me feel my way through the rut.
If I’m disrespected in front of him
I hate being subjected to street harassment. I hate being catcalled. When I’m alone, I typically deal with it in two ways: either I give a piece of my mind to the disgusting person making the comments or I keep it moving. It largely depends on my mood. When the harassment happens in front of my boyfriend though, I fully expect him to handle the situation. It’s not that I can’t defend my own honor, or that I won’t defend my own honor. But I strongly believe that men will change their behavior toward women only when other men stop accepting that behavior as okay. By defending me, my boyfriend protects me but also does his little part in dismantling the ever-pervasive rape culture that persists in our society.
When I’m really sick
Am I the only girl who loves to be taken care of when she’s sick? Maybe I’m weird but as much as I can buy my own chicken noodle soup, get my own water and vitamins or pick up my own prescription — it’s really nice to have someone there to help me when I need a little extra TLC.
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