I’ve Been Single For 3 Years & I’m Lonely AF

For a while, I really enjoyed being single. I still do, but now I crave a relationship in a way that I didn’t when I’d only been alone for a short period of time. To be honest, I’m ready to find the person I should be with and I hate that I haven’t.

  1. I’m only human and I crave companionship. I had a long stretch of contentment with my independent status and I still intend to keep my autonomy even when I’m in a relationship, but I would love to have a partner by my side for this wild adventure called life. It’s just not as fun without one. I’m beyond ready to be with the person I’m meant to love.
  2. I love my freedom but I’m ready to be back in a relationship. I think that if I make better choices and pick wisely, I’ll actually be really happy in a partnership. The problem in the past was that I was dating in a dysfunctional way. If I can correct that behavior, I’ll be perfectly OK. I yearn for the chance at a good, solid, loving relationship with a guy.
  3. I don’t do casual sex so this is particularly rough for me. I can’t do it—it’s just not who I am. I accept that, but I don’t accept the frustration that comes along with it. There’s nothing worse than yearning not only for the emotional benefits of a relationship but also dying simply to be touched lovingly.
  4. I miss having that special closeness with another human being. If I miss even the very imperfect partnerships of my past, I can’t even imagine how wonderful it’ll be when I find the person who really gets me and loves me for who I am. I long for it desperately, to the point where I search for it until I think I’ll break apart.
  5. I’m holding out for the right person but the loneliness is maddening. I won’t settle anymore. I won’t do it. The tradeoff is that I have to stay lonely a lot longer than I’d like. Sometimes I become overwhelmingly pissed off at the universe for not leading me to my true love yet. Why shouldn’t I have happiness?
  6. I’m OK being single sometimes but I’m also a hopeless romantic. Shh—don’t tell anybody! As strong and independent and grounded as I am, I adore the idea of being madly in love. I want that deep, big, passionate love that lasts a lifetime and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’m just scared that it’ll never happen for me.
  7. I’m getting older and dating is getting tougher. It’s not like it was when I was in my twenties and everyone was relatively single. Even if someone was taken, it was likely they’d break up sooner rather than later. I got out of my last relationship, looked around, and realized that the dating pool had dwindled considerably.
  8. I keep watching my friends settle down and it feels weird. It’s not like it used to be, when I knew that my friends’ relationships probably wouldn’t last forever. Now they’re finding their life partners and getting engaged and married. Soon they’ll be having kids, and while that’s not what I want, I know I’ll be left out on my own.
  9. I don’t need anyone but I do want someone. It’s not a matter of need—no one really needs anyone else—but I do want someone and at this point, I want someone badly. I’m tired of sleeping alone. I’m tired of not having anyone to hold or cuddle or laugh with or discuss deep thoughts. I want that special person in my life.
  10. I miss touch so intensely I feel crazy sometimes. I make excuses just to hug people because sometimes I literally go all day without contact with a human or even an animal. It’s insane. I think that we undervalue the power of touch and the way that it affects us adversely when we don’t get it.
  11. I’m finding my ability to connect with potential partners is lessening. As I get older, my social circles get smaller and most people in them are already attached. Those who aren’t—well, for whatever reason, we never vibe. I have fewer options as I get older and I’m getting pickier—not the ideal combination.
  12. I crave a kindred adventure partner. It seems so simple but in reality, it’s complicated because I’m not going to find that special connection with just anyone. It has to be the right guy, and I know that when it happens it’ll be super easy… I just don’t know when or if that will occur.
  13. I adore love and I miss it. I can’t help it. I think that being in love is the best feeling in the world. After these loveless years of single life, all I want now is to be madly infatuated with someone who feels the same way about me. I’m so impatient to meet the right guy that I feel like I’m going to explode if it doesn’t happen soon. I hate being lonely this way.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.