5 Things Love Is & 5 Things Love Absolutely Isn’t

Love is a complex emotion, so it’s really no wonder that not everyone understands what it really entails. Before you let all the butterflies in your stomach cloud your judgment, make sure that whatever you’re feeling really is love and not something else.

  1. Love is learning to compromise for one another. Remember what The Supremes once sang? Love is actually a game of give and take. Things have to be fair when it comes to your relationship. When you decide to be with someone, you need to be prepared to sacrifice certain things and compromise to make the other person happy now and then. Of course, you only do this on the condition that your partner pays you the same courtesy!
  2. Love is not having to completely change your life. It’s fine to compromise for your partner, but make sure that the price isn’t too high. If your partner expects you to completely change your life to suit his every whim, he needs a lobotomy. No one gets to tell you how you should lead your life. That decision is solely up to you. No one else.
  3. Love is having someone to share your thoughts with. Without sounding utterly soppy and making everyone vomit, one of the greatest perks of being in love is having someone to share everything with. When you’re deep in sickeningly sweet romance, you actively want to tell your partner every little thing that happens to you. And, frankly, that’s just plain adorable.
  4. Love is not about nagging someone to death. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you get to control them. It’s scarily easy to slip into the role of his mother, but it’s seriously screwed up. If you’re in the habit of nagging your partner to death, you need to quit it before he quits you.
  5. Love is supporting one another through hard times. Let’s be real here: We all go through tough times now and then. You might have a fight with a friend or lose your job. It happens. We’re human. When you’re in love, though, you absolutely have to support your partner through all the crap that happens to them. If you bail at the first sign of trouble, you might want to rethink saying that ‘L’ word until you truly mean it.
  6. Love is not carrying someone through life. Sure, you should help your partner when times get hard, but you can’t carry him through life. There’s a difference between supporting your boyfriend when he loses his job and paying his way for your entire relationship. If a man loves you, he’ll never expect you to carry him — and you shouldn’t expect it from him, either!
  7. Love is being 100% comfortable with someone else. Finding a guy that you just ‘click’ with means that you can be your authentic self all the time. You don’t have to show off to him or pretend to be something you’re not. Instead, the two of you are always real with one another. No BS — you’re true to yourself. Always.
  8. Love is not taking one another for granted. One of the biggest mistakes that people make is taking their partner for granted. If you find a guy who you honestly love (and who loves you), you have to appreciate it. Real love is rare AF and, frankly, you don’t deserve it if you’re not thankful for what you have. If you start taking your guy for granted, you shouldn’t be surprised if he walks away.
  9. Love is something that comes naturally. If you’re having to squeeze every last bit of emotion out of yourself, it ain’t love. I’m sorry to break it to you, but love comes naturally. It’s not something that you have to force or ‘make’ happen. It just does. Sometimes, we fool ourselves into thinking we’re actually in love when the truth is we are just desperate for affection.
  10. Love is not a trophy or a prize. It honestly drives me crazy when people see love as some kind of prize. Getting into a committed relationship is not some great achievement, nor is it something you should be commended for. If you’re chasing a guy because you want the status of being with someone, you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons. Cut. It. Out.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.