You call her your friend, but are you sure she has your best interests at heart? You might be giving her tons of support and building her up when she’s down, but does she treat you in the same way – or do you feel like she’s faking the friendship? Maybe she’s a frenemy in disguise. Here are 10 brutal truths your friend doesn’t care about you in the slightest. Time to send her packing!
1. They Never Ask Follow-Up Questions.
When chatting to your friend, it sometimes feels like they just want to keep the chat on a surface level. So, they won’t ask you follow-up questions about your job or relationship. When this happens, you probably leave the hangout session feeling like you don’t really know each other on a deeper level, which is sad because it means you’ll never be authentic friends who know each other’s darkest secrets and deepest wishes.
2. They Know You When They Need Something.
Although you guys might go on different paths sometimes, your friend always remembers your phone number when they need something ASAP. You’re their go-to friend when they want advice or they need you to support them or make them remember why they’re so great. Then, they’ll praise you for the next hour because they think you’re so wonderful. Hmmm. Meanwhile, during the good times, they don’t really seem to care for you much.
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4. They Do Something For You – But It’s About Them.
A sneaky “friend” behavior is when they do something great for you, but you end up doing it. So, they want to knit you a winter jersey but they ask you to buy the wool. Wait, what? Similarly, they might organize a fun birthday party for you but it’s at a steakhouse and you’re a vegan. Ugh, what? Your friend’s scarily selfish and only pretending to do nice things for you because they’re actually always getting what they want!
5. They Make Vague Plans.
You run into your friend at the supermarket and she promises you’ll “get together soon!” or that you “have to hang out!” Yeah, whatever. It seems that she’s only ever interested in making vague plans instead of anything concrete. And, when you step up and try to set a definite date to go to dinner or for drinks, she’s never available. Sometimes, this type of “friend” will make it seem like you’re the stranger who never keeps in touch to cover up for their own laziness.
6. They Give You Generic Gifts.
When your birthday rolls around, your friend remembers, but she doesn’t make you feel special. Maybe she sends you birthday GIFs on social media instead of writing meaningful wishes. Or, she buys you a gift voucher instead of something that she knows you’ll really like. If you’ve been friends for years, these gifts feel so generic.
7. They Wait For You To Apologize.
When you and your friend get into a fight, does she ever apologize for her actions? Or, does she go AWOL and wait for you to make the first move to say you’re sorry? It’s unfair if you’re always the one chasing her to make amends. A good test would be to back off and see when, exactly, she decides to patch things up. It might never happen, but you shouldn’t be the only one doing the hard work.
8. They Put You Down In Front Of Others.
When hanging out with your friend in public, she might treat you differently than how she does in private. So, when your mutual friends are around, does she belittle you and take you down? For example, does she say, “Your dress makes you look so much more attractive than usual.” Um, that’s not a compliment. She likes to put you down so she feels better about herself. Ugh.
9. They’re Full Of Empty Promises.
Your friend tells you to call her if you need her, like when your boyfriend dumps you and you’re heartbroken. But when you reach out, she’s never available. She’s so fake, it’s unreal. She pretends to be the perfect friend for you, but when push comes to shove and she has to put actions behind her words, she treats you like she doesn’t value you at all.
10. They Mock Your Choices.
Although your friend should tell you the truth, she should always support you no matter what you choose to do. She shouldn’t be putting down all your choices so that you always feel like you’re not good enough. She might also be trying to put you down so she can one-up you. For example, maybe she insults the guys you date so she can talk about how great her boyfriend is. Ick.
11. They Use You As A Backup Buddy.
Your friend loves to call you at the last minute to make dinner plans and sometimes she cancels plans because she has to meet with someone else. Wow. She’s always looking for something better and uses her friends as chess pieces she can move around. You never feel like a priority to her because you’re not one. She’s only thinking about herself.