I’m about to go on vacation without my boyfriend. This isn’t the first time I’ve left him at home nor will it be the last. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy traveling with him but I love venturing out into the world solo just as much and I think it’s a healthy habit to have.
I already see him every day. I really love my boyfriend and I love making memories with him every day. But that’s the thing—we’re literally together every day. Sometimes I just want to go and do amazing things and make new memories with my friends or my siblings. Other times, I just want to go on cool adventures by myself. I personally don’t think any couple should be completely joined at the hip. It’s healthy to have a life outside of each other so that when we’re together, we’re more fulfilled individuals and have more to talk about.
I don’t have to constantly worry about him having fun. I know that my boyfriend is an adult and is capable of making his own decisions and finding ways to have fun on vacation. But the truth is that I’m a rather anxious person, and whenever I’m with someone else, I worry almost constantly that the things I want to do or see aren’t going to be fun enough or interesting for them. Yes, this is something I’m working on, but I also know myself well enough to realize that sometimes I have the most fun on my own.
We have different ideas of what makes a good vacation. I don’t mind nature and cool temperatures, but I prefer cities and warmer weather when I go away. My boyfriend is the polar opposite. We have fun together no matter where we go, but when it comes to being able to truly relax and just enjoy being away together, we definitely have opposite ideal environments.
I have no problem with him going on vacations without me. I’m my own person and so is my boyfriend, so I’d be a total hypocrite if I didn’t want him going on trips without me when I know how important doing that very thing is for me. I’m not only fine with it but I actually encourage it. I think it’s important for all couples to be able to go new places without each other, and I think life can get pretty boring when they don’t.
We often grow more when we’re apart. Nothing is worse than a stagnant relationship or life as a whole. We need to constantly be growing and evolving, and doing things separately from our partners is a great way to do that. I think we tend to fall too easily into our comfort zones when we’re coupled up, and being in faraway places without our partners for extended periods of time forces us to think in new ways and solve our own problems.
It keeps our conversations from getting boring. If anything, having our own separate adventures just adds to the long list of things we have to talk about. I get to tell him about all the craziness that happens on my trips, and I love hearing about the cool things he does and people he meets along the way. Oh, and we also get the opportunity to bring home fun and silly souvenirs for each other. After all, it’s not like I go on vacation by myself and don’t think about him at all.
I have more money saved up for vacations than he does. The thing is, I regularly save up funds for things like vacations and therefore end up having a lot more money than my boyfriend to see and do things. He’s not bothered—he doesn’t see it as a priority right now. I’m fine with this, but I don’t want it to get in the way of my going and doing things as I want. And while I’m certainly happy to spend money on him (and things we can enjoy together, like concerts), I just don’t feel it’s necessary to do so all the time. I also know that my boyfriend doesn’t want me spending money on him all the time either.
Going on trips alone makes trips with him that much better. It’s not like I never go on vacation with my boyfriend anymore. We went on a cruise just a few months ago and had a fantastic time—and that’s just how I want things to always be when we go away together. Going on vacations by myself (or with friends or even family members) allows me to decompress on my own and do things exactly the way I want. Doing so helps me then go on to truly enjoy vacations with my boyfriend without the additional stress of worrying that we’re not having the best time ever.