How To Keep A Guy Interested In You Forever, According To A Guy

In a way, getting a guy to be interested in you is the easy part. The hard part is keeping him interested in you. More than ever, guys (people in general, really) have short attention spans and are eager to move on to the next person if they’re not feeling engaged. Fortunately, there are some tricks that can help ensure your relationship stays exciting and his eyes remain firmly on you.

  1. Exude confidence. It’s amazing how many of life’s problems can be solved with a little confidence. When in doubt, just fake it until you make it when it comes to self-assurance. Men are almost always attracted to confident women. There’s just something about that aura of composure that’s always appealing to men. It never gets old. The better you feel in your own skin, the more likely he is to dig you just as much.
  2. Embrace spontaneity. One thing men fear about long-term relationships is things getting stale and boring. When a woman is spontaneous, those fears go out the door. Granted, some guys prefer a certain level of consistency, but if you’re always up for an adventure and aren’t a slave to schedules and solidified plans, that’s bound to keep things interesting (and keep him interested).
  3. Live your own life. You and your partner should never let your lives become two intertwined. You’ll quickly run out of things to talk about if you do everything together. Plus, that kind of behavior can sometimes be interpreted as clingy, which will drive a guy away sooner rather than later. Not only will doing your own thing sometimes keep his interest, it’ll also ensure you live a happy, fulfilled life outside of your relationship, which is always a good thing.
  4. Don’t take his physical attraction to you for granted. Okay, so this is the nicest way I can phrase the importance of taking care of your body and your appearance. Odds are your looks were the first thing that attracted a guy to you. Obviously, you want him to maintain that interest for as long as possible. That means being able to appeal to a guy’s superficial side, if you know what I mean.
  5. Play to his ego but keep it in check. Admittedly, this is a difficult line to toe. Guys do enjoy it when a woman can boost their ego. If you can compliment him and remind him of the things you like about him, he’ll gladly stay around. At the same time, he won’t respect you enough to stick around forever if you don’t keep his ego in check and put him in his place when necessary.
  6. Don’t try to change him. No guy likes it when their girlfriend tries to change him. We want you ladies to like us for who we are. That being said, you can sometimes be subtle and change a guy in little ways that he doesn’t realize, but don’t treat him like someone who needs wholesale changes. We aren’t going to stick around in that kind of relationship. If you want to be with a different kind of guy, go do that.
  7. Be a positive person. Too much negativity can kill a relationship. More than that, negativity just isn’t fun to be around. Most guys want to be around someone who’s upbeat and (generally) always in a good mood. Just being positive and cheery is a good way to keep a guy interested and make him want to stick around.
  8. Never give up that youthful exuberance. As they say, love is wasted on the young. If you want to keep a guy interested forever and maintain a fun and healthy relationship, you need to keep things light and playful. Replicate the youthful exuberance and excitement of a new relationship as much as possible. After all, that’s the best part of love. If you can keep things fresh and exciting, it’ll be harder for him to stray.
  9. Be affectionate. As always, let’s be clear that sex and affection are two different things. Even if you have sex with someone regularly, it’s easy to lose the connection that keeps a guy interested in the relationship. But that won’t happen if you remain affectionate and find intimacy outside of the bedroom. Showing affection toward a guy every day will keep him interested and invested in the relationship for the long term.
  10. Be willing to try new things. Complacency is another relationship killer. It’s important for both partners to push each other to try new things. As long as you find new things that you both enjoy, it’ll help both of you stay interested and engaged in the relationship for the long run. The more mutual interests you can find, the more likely a relationship is to last forever.
  11. Keep some secrets to yourself. It’s sometimes said that you can never know everything there is to know about a person. Believe it or not, this can be a good thing for long-term relationships. People should have a right to keep a few secrets to themselves. Plus, him knowing that he doesn’t know everything about you will keep him interested. If there’s something you’d prefer to keep to yourself, just tell him that you’ll share it “another time.” This will help keep him on the hook and keep wanting to get to know you better, even if you’ve already been together for a long time.
  12. Keep things fresh in bed. Of course, sex is always an important part of maintaining a guy’s interest in a long-term relationship. Both partners should always be looking for ways to spice things up in bed. Just make sure you also talk with them about trying new things. Even with sex, doing the same thing over and over again can get boring. With guys in particular, trying new things in bed is essential for keeping their interest.
  13. Find a mutual hobby together. If you feel like your quality time together is diminishing, what better to do than learn a new skill as a couple? There is a sense of achievement inherent to the process, as well as inbuilt goals. For example, you could take up running, needlepoint, painting – all things with a creative outlet or a release of energy. It will release endorphins and use a different part of your brain. You can release the tension in a relationship in a healthy way!
  14. Redefine your relationship boundaries. If you want to keep a guy interested, maybe it’s time to change things up in the bedroom or to rethink your living arrangements. I know there’s a lot of pressure surrounding the idea of how a relationship is ‘meant’ to progress over time. But any good therapist will tell us that progress isn’t linear. Make accommodations or new rules, or get rid of the old rules in your relationship. Whatever makes you comfortable or excited. Try a threesome and open up your relationship if you’re feeling claustrophobic. Or, move in together but keep separate beds. Unlearn the unspoken rules within relationships. Intimacy doesn’t mean that you have to spend every day together. Figure out what intimacy means for you.
  15. Hang out in a group. There’s nothing wrong with double dates or nights apart, or group activities. You love your friends for a reason, there’s no reason they shouldn’t be a part of your relationship. You will see a different side to each other, and the added company will enrich your minds. Refresh your social skills.
  16. Bake together. Or try out a new homemade recipe at home. There’s nothing more fun and free-spirited than cooking. Whatever happens, even if you mess up the recipe, you will be sure of lots of laughs. Set a great playlist of music to keep you going, and you’ll soon find yourself in the montage scene of any Noughties romcom! Plus, if you bake, the house will smell amazing!
  17. Go on a date with another person. Maybe this sounds a little extreme, but bear with me. If you communicate that you might need a little freedom in the relationship, it will keep you both on your toes. It will also test the waters regarding how much you trust each other. These conversations and experiences are valuable, because even if you don’t gel with the person you go on a date with, then at least you know. Modern dating isn’t all about tradition and monogamy, after all.
  18. Discuss your expectations. This is the time to be honest and frank. Don’t hide away from the truth. Express your expectations and needs and that’s a step towards them getting met. If you can’t be honest with your partner, it’s less a question of keeping him interested and more a question of whether you should be together in the first place. For the right person, these conversations are interesting because they represent a new stage in your relationship. You can both communicate what you want. If he has lost interest, maybe it’s time to give up on the sinking ship. That’s okay too.
  19. Try a new look. Maybe you want a physical transformation, like cutting bangs or getting highlights. That can refresh you and get you out of a funk, as well as get his attention. Maybe it will inspire him to get a haircut too, and you can explore your identities together.
Bryan Zarpentine graduated from Syracuse University and lives in upstate New York, where he writes largely about the world of sports. His work has appeared on Franchise Sports and WSN, among others. You can find him on Twitter @BZarp.