8 Reasons It’s So Hard To Find A Good Man

Good guys aren’t extinct but sometimes it definitely feels like they are. You put yourself out there, give every relationship, situationship, and first date your all but you’re still coming up short. If you’re struggling to find a genuinely decent man in a dating scene full of duds, you’re not alone—and there’s an explanation for your bad luck.

  1. You’re using the wrong dating apps. While it’s possible to find love in the unlikeliest of places, you’re more likely to strike out among catfishers, ghosters, and guys just looking for a quick hookup. That’s why an app like Huggle is so refreshingly different—it connects you with people in your area who actually visit the same places and like the same things as you BEFORE you meet. By the time you meet up, you already know how much you have in common, meaning you’ll have way more to talk about and a much higher chance of actually making a real, lasting connection.
  2. The options are endless and people are restless. It’s a very human trait to wonder whether something better is out there. It sometimes feels like guys are a bit more guilty of actually acting on this, with many of them being hesitant to commit or happy to keep you on the back burner while they continue exploring the endless amounts of eligible women out there looking for love. Ugh.
  3. It’s all about hookup culture these days. For some people, the main perk of a serious relationship is having sex on tap 24/7. These days, guys know they don’t even have to work at it since a lot of women are on the same page and because of this, one-night stands, FWB situations, and random hookups are par for the course.
  4. Man-children are everywhere and it’s only getting worse. Immature, lazy guys that lack ambition are pretty much an epidemic these days. They want to be kids for as long as possible and so they eschew the standards adult responsibilities and milestones in favor of getting drunk with his bros five nights a week and maybe finding a girl to hook up with every weekend. It’s pretty grim.
  5. A lot of guys just can’t handle smart, strong, independent women. It’s not your fault you’re such a badass, but your level of greatness doesn’t come without downsides. Many guys are intimidated by women who know themselves so well and who demand the best from life. They’re not up to the task of matching your ambition and passion so they don’t bother. You’re better off without them anyway.
  6. Marriage isn’t such a big deal anymore. Sure, there are traditionalists out there who dream of walking down the aisle to exchange “I do”s before popping out some kids and raising them in a house with a white picket fence, but for most this ideal is outdated and no longer relevant. Since a lot of men don’t really want to get married, they see no reason to rush into a relationship. The ones that do want to tie the knot are rare and likely already taken.
  7. Technology has replaced actual human connection. We’re all obsessed with our phones and pretty much live on them 24/7. We use them to order food, pay bills, and yes, to find dates. While technology is responsible for some amazing things in our society, it’s also put a distance between us and our fellow human beings. Without that real connection, what are we doing?
  8. You’re trying too hard. It’s really true what they say—love tends to come when you least expect it and aren’t looking so hard for it. It’s important to be smart about how you’re investing your energy in dating. You want to put yourself out there but ensuring you’re getting the maximum results from the minimum effort is kinda key here—after all, this shouldn’t be taking over your life.

Download Huggle here and you’ll be one step closer to finding one of those elusive good guys you’re after.

Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia