Finding love is a goal most of us have, and it’s an important one, which is why we talk about it so often. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the most difficult to accomplish. After enduring disappointment and heartbreak, we have to rally in order to find what we’re looking for, and there are several scary things we inevitably have to do:
- We have to be brave enough to call/text him first. After some douchebag calls us “crazy” or clingy for daring to send the first text, it’s hard to find the nerve to do it again, but the truth is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with texting a guy first when you like him and want to say hi. If he pulls a disappearing act after such an innocent gesture, you know he wasn’t worth your time anyway, but there’s always the chance he’s one of those rare good guys who will appreciate it.
- We have to be vulnerable. It’s so hard for us to let our guard down after we’ve been hurt. Unfortunately, it won’t be possible for us to find true love as long as we have thick walls up around our hearts. As frightening as it is, we have to learn how to be vulnerable again.
- We have to remember that every new guy is NOT our ex and give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust issues are a bitch for everyone involved, but we have to remind ourselves that he wasn’t the one who hurt us and he deserves a chance.
- We have to learn to love ourselves first. We can be our own worst enemies sometimes, but we shouldn’t be. In order to find love with someone else, we first have to find it within ourselves, even when others are telling us that we should be insecure or doubtful.
- We have to set reasonable expectations and stick to them. When we meet someone new and we really like him, we often screw ourselves over by accepting any little crumbs of a relationship he offers instead of insisting on getting what we deserve. Even if he seems really great, we can’t give up our reasonable relationship expectations just to avoid losing him; if he’s worth it, he won’t think anyone’s crazy for wanting a real relationship.
- We have to make an effort to meet people. Whether it’s dating apps, random social hangouts, or even just social media, we have to make a solid effort to interact with available men if we ever want to meet the one who could be special. Sometimes it feels a lot easier and more comfortable to just hide in our homes wearing sweats, but, unfortunately, Mr. Right isn’t going to magically knock on the door.
- We have to look past the first impression and get to know someone. It’s easy to get hung up on minor things when you meet someone new, like height or occupation. These things aren’t necessarily deal breakers; they’re preferences. If there’s a viable connection, it’s worth exploring. After all, sometimes we really limit ourselves when we stick to just one “type.”
- We have to be patient. There’s a difference between letting a guy float along without a commitment and simply being patient while the relationship is developed. It’s usually pretty obvious if he’s trying to play the field. If he’s just the type who takes things slowly, that’s usually a good sign, so just be patient and enjoy getting to know him, because the reward just might be forever.