10 Ways To Tell If Someone Is Looking For Romance Or Sex

Does your crush want to get to know you on a deeper level and build a bond, or are they just about having sex and then leaving? It’s not always easy to know for sure, especially if they’re full of flattery and charm when you first meet them. Here’s how to tell in no uncertain terms. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy.

  1. They want romance if… they can hold a conversation. If they want to talk about things other than what they want to do to you in the sack, that shows that they’re trying to see the bigger picture of who you are and want to get to know you more. They don’t just want to see you naked (though they hopefully want that too).
  2. They want romance if… they plan romantic dates. See, it’s simple. Someone who wants to romance you and see if you have a relationship on the cards will want to take you out on actual dates. That means you’ll go out to dinner, movies, and do other fun things together rather than just heading back to their place all the time.
  3. They want romance if… they plan ahead. It’s simple but true: if someone’s keen to keep you around, they’re going to want to plan dates ahead of time. Heck, even if it’s a week or two ahead of time, it shows that they’re not just thinking of satisfying their physical needs. No matter how busy their schedule is, they’ll make room for you in it.
  4. They want romance if… they let you in. Someone who’s interested in more than sex will not only show interest in what you’re about but they’ll let you into their goals, dreams, feelings, and thoughts. There’s no use trying to build something with someone who keeps you always on the surface.
  5. They want romance if… they can just cuddle. Ah, nothing better than a cuddle session! Does your crush love to cuddle and kiss you for hours without always taking things to the bedroom? Do they hammock with you while reading and sharing a laugh without copping a feel? Do they love to make physical contact without it always involving taking your clothes off? Those are all good signs that they’re into building an emotional bond.
  6. They want sex if… they only text late at night. And it’s not “how was your day?” messages, either. It’s sexual and flirtatious texts all the time. Basically, they’re just interested in you being in their bed, not in their life as a whole.
  7. They want sex if… they only want to meet for drinks. Does the person keep saying they don’t want to meet for dinner ’cause they’d prefer to meet up for drinks at the club? If this keeps happening, and your dates always end up back at their apartment, the two are definitely linked. If they’re not suggesting dates in which you can actually hear each other speak and have a real conversation, that’s a red flag.
  8. They want sex if… they distract you from anything serious. A guy or woman who’s not into having a relationship with you isn’t going to want to talk about anything serious, whether that’s your thoughts on relationships or what you want from life. They might steer you away from that to lighter topics, such as how hot you look in your red dress. Ugh.
  9. They want sex if… they always cancel group dates. If you’ve been out with them a few times and try to invite them to group dates so they can meet your mates, but they always cancel on you, that’s a huge sign they’re not keen on any date that could be a hint of anything serious. They’re basically telling you that they don’t want to be part of your life in a romantic way. Ditto for when you suggest meeting their friends and they never commit to plans.
  10. They want sex if… they always leave soon afterward. If they can’t even stay to chat or eat breakfast after sex because they’re always in a big rush, damn – how convenient, right? They’re just there to have fun and then bounce, with no regard for anything else. The writing on the wall is clear, ladies. Step around this one and move on before they break your heart because that’s the only thing you can be certain of with this person. But hey, at least you know now, right?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.