You’ve got beautiful eyes. Can I buy you a drink? Sometimes flirting is obvious, but oftentimes it’s much more indirect and subtle. Sure, he seems to be taking an interest in your life, inviting you to events, and generally seems to be having fun with you, but don’t your friends do that, too? It’s just so hard to know!
If you don’t know, it’s hard to figure out what you’re supposed to do. You might end up letting this opportunity go by without responding to his advances, only to find out years later that he was so into you. Or you might misread him, go in for the kill, only to be told that wasn’t his intention! Ugh, embarrassing. Of course, it’s not the end of the world (even though it may feel like that at the moment), but there are ways to avoid these highly stressful situations. Here are 11 telltale signs that he’s flirting with you, rather than just being nice.
He’s always in your personal space.
Does he move closer to you when you’re in groups together? Does he make physical contact with you a lot? While not all physical touches are flirtatious, you may be able to gather what his intentions are by the context of his touching. If you can imagine anyone touching you in that manner (think work colleagues, family), then it’s probably just friendly. But if his touches are out of the ordinary parameters of friendship, it might be something more.
He’s overly excited to discover you share common interests.
He loves Germany, and you speak German! What a coincidence! You love music, and he plays an instrument! OMG, IT’S REAL LOVE. No, but seriously – if you two have common interests and he seems to get overly excited and tries to drag out conversation with you about them, then he’s trying very hard to make a connection with you.
He slyly tries to get your number.
If he outright asks you for your number, well, that’s a pretty good hint that he’s into you. But sometimes it can be done quite slyly. He might tell you he had a photo of your friends he’d like to share with you, or tickets to a concert you might be interested in, and he simply needs to text you about it.
He goes out of his way to talk to you.
If you’re at a party full of plenty of people to talk to and he always seems to end up chatting with you, that’s a definite sign he’s feeling it. If you always finds yourself just talking to him for hours, accidentally having ignored the rest of the group, you may have an admirer.
He lowers his voice when talking to you.
Oftentimes when a guy is flirting with you, he’ll whisper or talking quietly so that you have to lean in (or he has to lean in) and become more intimate with you. Maybe it’s a bit of gossip he wants to share with you, maybe it’s something personal that he doesn’t want the rest of the group to know. Whatever the reason, he’s working hard to create a sense of intimacy between the two of you.
He jokes about sex.
A lot. Okay, so guys talk and joke about sex a lot, and when they do it with girls, it can border on creepy sometimes. But it can also be quite playful when done right – think silly double entendres and innuendos, comments on how long it’s been since he’s had sex etc. And, more importantly, if he’s clearly trying to scope out how you feel about the idea of sex + him, then you can bet he’s flirting with you.
He’s teases you without being mean.
This is classic schoolyard kids’ psychology, but we just don’t seem to be leave those golden years behind! He’ll pick on you over others in the group, forcing you to interact and laugh with him. Not always a sign that he’s flirting with you, but in combination with any of the other signs, this could be what gives him away!
He’s always smiling around you.
People smile to be friendly, so this is one of those signs that really relies on your observational skills. People who are being polite will smile without those feelings reaching their eyes. The smiles are posed and meant to be polite, and that’s fine. A guy who’s into you is grinning from ear to ear, and his smile will undoubtedly just be one indicator of how happy being around you makes him. He stays engaged, interested and involved because, well, he’s into you.
He goes out of his way to do nice things for you.
He offers to fix your car, or give you guitar lessons, free of charge. He might seem just like a “nice guy“, but what he’s really asking you is for more time together.
You catch him staring at you.
Whether it’s from across the room or while you’re in close proximity, you can catch him looking at you often with a look in his eyes that’s definitely saying something more than friendship. If he can’t take his eyes off of you, you can bet that he’s into you.
He tries to impress you.
He might try to impress you by bragging a little bit. Don’t mistake this guy with the general braggart, who just likes to talk about how great they are. This guy will be far more subtle, hoping to talk himself up in your esteem without sounding like a jerk.
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