8 Things You Should Know Before Dating An Over-Thinker

Life as an over-thinker is far from easy. Our brains are constantly going at a million miles a second and we can’t turn them off no matter how hard we try. This makes things unnecessarily complicated sometimes, especially when it comes to relationships. If you’re brave enough to get into a relationship with us, here’s what you need to know:

  1. Our brains never rest, so you probably won’t, either.It’s sad but true — we’ll overanalyze everything you do, from texts, the way you look at us, your overall behavior, etc. We’ll speculate and come up with conclusions that only we can understand. It’ll help if you talk to us and are willing to go the extra mile in explaining your own thought processes, but it won’t completely solve the problem.
  2. We need you to say what you mean.Sometimes, “I’m fine” won’t cut it. It’s a statement that can drive us nuts. Our brains can’t help but start an inner monologue with questions like,  “Is he really fine?” or “What did I do wrong?” even if you’re really OK. You need to say exactly what he means if you want to keep us from driving ourselves (and probably you) crazy.
  3. We’ll constantly text you our random thoughts. Hopefully you won’t be weirded out. Our brains are always at work, so there will be times that we’ll end up telling you what’s going on our busy minds, which won’t always make sense. If you’re the right guy, hopefully you’ll find it more endearing than annoying.
  4. We need reassurance from time to time.We dwell on “what ifs” every freaking day. “What if he wakes up one day and he’s not in love with me anymore?” “What if he asks me for some time apart?” This is totally not your fault (and not ours, either). We understand this can really annoy even the most patient person, and we’re sorry, but it’d help if you could send some words of reassurance our way from time to time.
  5. We’ll never judge you for your flaws and idiosyncrasies. This isn’t because you’re such a great guy (which you are) — it’s because we’re just busy judging ourselves and every detail of our own lives.
  6. We’ll expect you to give us all the details. If you’re planning for something to surprise us, it will benefit both of us if you don’t give any kind of hint. Why? Because once we sniff that there’s something going on that you’re not telling us, we won’t let you rest ‘til you reveal it. (Trust us on this!)
  7. We’ll scrutinize everything that’s happening in your Facebook wall. No, we’re not cyberstalkers. We just have the irrepressible tendency to analyze everything that’s going on in your Facebook timeline — you’ll make it a whole lot easier for us (and for yourself) by not posting anything cryptic.
  8. We’ll apologize to you. We know our overthinking is annoying and can really get on your nerves, and we’re sorry. We have no problem apologizing for our shortcomings, and we can only hope you’ll understand and forgive us. We’re trying to improve.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.