The endless cycle of swiping right and left, bad first dates, and wondering if you’ll ever find your person is just exhausting. Dating can be amazing, sure, especially if you meet someone you hit it off with, but it can also totally suck. Since there’s no way to avoid it if you want to eventually find your soulmate, here are a few tips to make the process a little more bearable.
- Fine-tune your dating apps. One of the most tedious and frustrating parts of dating can be dealing with all of the apps. You might feel like you’re constantly swiping left and never coming across someone that you think might be a good match for you. Try weeding out some of the people who you know wouldn’t work out by fine-tuning your preferences. You can make general adjustments in your settings like location and age range, but I suggest being upfront in your profile bio. Let everyone who comes across your profile know what you’re not looking for by adding things like, “I’m not looking to play games” and “If you’re just looking for a one-night stand, I’m not your girl!” Narrow down your pool to make the dates less daunting.
- Have a laid-back attitude. Something that will help make the process a little more bearable is not making the stakes so high in every situation. Remember that not every date you go on is going to be a match made in heaven and that’s perfectly okay! You don’t have to be a good fit for everyone you meet and if you aren’t, it definitely doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or that person. Try to think of every date that you go on as an adventure. You may not experience love at first sight or sparks flying but you might meet a new friend or at the very least have a funny story to tell your girlfriends later on.
- Get creative with date ideas. There’s nothing wrong with a classic dinner and a movie date or a meet-up in a coffee shop, however, you might be getting bored of the same ol’, same ol’, especially if you’ve been going on a lot of dates lately. Try suggesting to your date that you do something out of the box. Try an activity like one of those painting classes or something daring like rock wall climbing or hiking. Sure, it might seem a little busy for a first date but you never know. You both may have a great time and be able to let loose and get to know each other in a real way.
- Don’t expect anything. Aside from the standard things like expecting the guy you’re on a date with to be a gentleman, don’t expect too much from the relationship at the beginning. Give yourself and your date some time to sort out your feelings. Don’t expect him to call you every single day or to text you incessantly. Don’t get upset if your relationship doesn’t move as quickly as you might want it to. Let things happen naturally and you’ll feel at peace with however things play out. What’s meant to be will be.
- Don’t let yourself get attached right away. Similar to having high expectations, make sure that you’re guarding your heart so that you don’t let yourself get too attached to someone too soon. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with falling fast for someone, but when you feel very strongly and they don’t reciprocate that intensity, it can be extremely painful. Just make sure to tell yourself that things will happen the way they should. If someone doesn’t feel the same way for you as you do for them, it’s okay. They’re just not the one for you. Let them go and be open to meeting someone new.
- Be able to laugh things off. Having a good sense of humor is key to getting through awkward or uncomfortable situations. Make sure that you’re able to laugh off the awkwardness and aren’t afraid to make fun of yourself a little. Your date isn’t going to mind that you’re nervous and they probably won’t expect everything to go perfectly. The right guy will appreciate the little quirks and traits that make you unique so, don’t be afraid of any weirdness, just try to embrace it a little and make it fun!
- Share details with your friends and family. Getting advice from the people in our lives that we love and trust can be so wonderful so, don’t be afraid to talk about your dating woes with the people that you’re close to. If you’re unsure of how you feel for someone, talk about it with your friends. If you’ve got some funny stories to tell or just want someone to empathize with the agony of trying to find a proper mate, share that with the people you love! They’ll be happy to provide advice and comfort and you won’t feel so alone throughout the process.
- Don’t give yourself a deadline. It never feels good to be under pressure and feel like you only have a limited amount of time to accomplish something. There is no deadline on finding love. It doesn’t matter what age your friends were when they found their person and it doesn’t matter how old you are now. You will find the one for you when you’re supposed to. Don’t tell yourself that you have to find love by your next birthday or by the tenth date because as soon as you start putting these unfair rules on yourself, you’ll begin to subconsciously settle for anyone that seems to fit the bill because you’ll feel like you’re running out of time. You’re worth the wait so please don’t settle! You’ll find your soulmate and when you finally do, all of the misery of dating will make sense and feel worth it.
