You thought they were super charming at first, but the further you got into the relationship, the clearer it became that you were actually dating a narcissist. Not only does their self-obsession and complete lack of regard for you become taxing, but it can also have long-lasting effects even after you break up. Here’s how relationships with narcissists destroy you.
- They drain your energy. Relationships with narcissists are nothing short of exhausting. Your entire mind, body, and soul are consumed with trying to make them happy. Narcissists NEED to play mind games to feel validated. They need to be superior to everybody so anything you do will be criticized. Think of a relationship with a narcissist as a parasitic one. They feed off you, needing their emotional bucket filled. They take and take and take without reciprocating. The emotional strain from this type of relationship can leave you with long-lasting physical ailments. Headaches, stomach problems, insomnia, and nightmares are all results of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
- They destroy your confidence. Get ready to second guess every decision you will ever make. Relationships with narcissists do this to you. Even what to order off a menu will leave you second-guessing if you’re making the right decision. A classic narcissistic tactic is to make you feel like you’re unable to be a functioning adult. Why? So that you will depend on them for every need and desire. Once they have broken you down, you will be searching for their approval for literally everything. That’s just one way they can guarantee that they will maintain control over you. They need your total submission and dependency so they can feel validated. In their eyes, you exist only for that reason. Even if you escape one narcissist…..when you feel as though you cannot survive on your own, you’ll be drawn to another abuser. Relationships with narcissists
- They make you question what you want in life. After some time of having someone make every decision for you, you start to lose who you are. All of your preferences, hobbies, and personality traits have been sculpted to fit your narcissist’s perfect mold of you. Once you try to get yourself back, you are left wondering what you really do like. What the heck do you even want out of life? You’ve been socially isolated for so long, that trying to dive back into the world is scary. Dating narcissists can really make you lose your sense of self.
- People question your character. Narcissists are social ninjas and relationships with them are mind-blowing in this regard. Everyone loves them. That’s probably why you fell so hard, so quickly. They won’t let just anyone see their ugly side. That’s saved for a select few. Every trait your family hoped for in your significant other, they are going to be that but better. Every family outing will leave you feeling spoiled and wondering why you ever doubted the relationship…..until you get in the car to go home. As long as others are watching, they will be the perfect partner. They don’t do this for you. Remember, narcissists only care about themselves. It is all in their plan to destroy you. They need to make sure that if anything happens, they look like the victim. That way when they decide to go to social media, it’s completely believable that you are the toxic one. How could they have done anything wrong? Everyone saw how perfect they were to you.
- You will never feel good enough. Narcissists live in a fantasy land. In their world, they are royalty, and no one can live up to their standards. You will always be trying to meet their unrealistic expectations. After trying to prove yourself repeatedly and failing every time, you’ll question if you’re good at anything. Your self-esteem will take a direct hit leaving a lifelong struggle of comparing yourself to others.
More ways relationships with narcissists screw you up
- Your sex life will suffer. Relationships with narcissists may seem passionate and exciting at first but it will soon reveal a selfish, one-sided experience. Your narcissistic partner will go to great lengths to prioritize their own desires but will dismiss any that you may have. Any part of sex together that they find unsatisfying will be blamed on you. They may hint (or even threaten) that they are not pleased and will have to look elsewhere to get the satisfaction they are wanting.
- You’ll overanalyze new relationships. Once you’re aware of the realities of relationships with narcissists, forming new ones will make you nervous. You’ll be constantly reading your new partner and wondering if you’re making the same mistakes again. You may be sensitive to comments or facial expressions that previously wouldn’t have bothered you. Trusting your gut instinct will feel unfamiliar because of the abuse that you’ve just experienced. You can end up creating problems that don’t actually exist in this way. Relationships with narcissists have the terrible effect of ruining your future relationships too, if you’re not careful.
- They batter your belief in love. One of the worst parts of relationships with narcissists is that they’re so terrible that you actually begin to believe there are no normal men or women out there who are honest and upfront rather than being manipulative and self-centered. You may have gotten with this person full of hope, only to end things feeling so battered down that your belief in love is nearly non-existent.
- They leave you with emotional scars. Dealing with the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist is no easy task. You will need lots of therapy and a support system to help you get back to living a normal life. It’s not uncommon for an abuse victim to deal with depression, anxiety, shame, and PTSD. Learning how to recover and get back in the swing of things may be difficult but with the right steps, it’s not impossible. It will be important to be aware of warning signs when attempting another relationship. Talk with a therapist, be open and honest with friends and family, and have confidence that you are worth a loving relationship.
