Quit being so cynical. Why don’t you smile more? You’re so insensitive. Someone needs to knock you off your high horse. You’re such a bitch. We’ve all heard comments like these from time to time. As women, society believes that we’re supposed to act and behave in certain ways. Maybe we should be more positive. Maybe we’re not shy enough. Maybe our tenacity intimidates people. Whatever the case, the person making these comments are responding to the fact that we don’t conform to how women should act. This makes us bitches, apparently.
But the time has long passed when we cowered under the social norms of the day. We as women shouldn’t have to compromise who we are simply to please someone who thinks that women should behave in certain ways. Of course, that’s not to say you should have free reign to treat people like crap – I’m talking about sticking up for yourself and not taking any crap. Here are 9 reasons why it’s important to stay true to yourself and accept every part of who you are, no matter how “bitchy” someone tells you you’re being.
- You’re just being yourself. You don’t sit around with a smile pasted on your face for no reason, you go after what you want, and you’re not going to let anyone put you down – and this apparently makes you a bitch? If so, then so be it! There are tons of people out there who wish they had the guts that you do.
- You’ll be unsatisfied otherwise. Let’s say some of your “bitchy” traits include needing attention, always wanting things your way, or liking to argue and debate. If these are things you absolutely must have in order to be happy in life, then trying to avoid them so as not to come across wrong will only leave you resentful in the long run. We all have needs, and that isn’t a bad thing.
- You’ll know that your guy truly cares about you. Wanting your partner to think you’re a fun, outgoing, carefree type of person is okay… unless that’s not the kind of person you are at all. In reality, you may be a little obsessive and definitely have that ‘Don’t come near me or I’ll cut you’ face when you go out to parties. You know other people may see that as bitchy, but your SO is definitely someone who should love you unconditionally. If they’re able to look past your harsher qualities to see the real you underneath, then that is all that matters.
- You don’t have to be a slave to other people’s opinions. Anyone who calls you a bitch is probably just trying to mold you to make their lives easier. They only know how to deal with a certain type of woman, and you – defiant of all their expectations – simply make them uncomfortable. Let them be uncomfortable! It’s not your fault that they have a narrow idea of how a women “should” behave.
- You can flush the fakes out of your life. There are people out there who will love you for you, no matter how tough you come across. Owning your bitchiness can help you to get rid of those who only see you as convenient to them. The people who truly care about you know what kind of person you are, and they accept that no matter what. Fake friends have no problem throwing around the word “bitch” when you fail to please them. Let those jerks fall by the wayside; those aren’t the kinds of friends you need in your life, anyway.
- You can vet the new people you meet. Likewise, owning your bitchiness up front can help you determine which new people – be they friends or a potential SO – will be able to support and accept you. There’s no point in making friends with or trying to date someone who can’t understand the most basic parts of you. And if they think you’re a bitch for being that way, then good riddance to them.
- You’ll have less to feel guilty about. Ten more people asked you for impossible favors today, and you’re inclined to tell them all no, but you don’t want to come across as selfish. But why the hell not? Those people calling you a bitch for not jumping at their every beck and call are simply angry because you won’t help them make their lives easier. It’s perfectly fine to be selfish – besides, you can’t do for others if you don’t give to yourself first.
- You can use your “bitchiness” to market yourself. Companies love strong employees who can get crap done. Have people told you you’re toxic and have a huge ego? Or that you’re too quiet and stern? Well, tell those haters to get lost, because a paying customer out there is looking for someone just like you. Your huge ego is simply a by-product of your self-confidence, and your “ice cold bitch” tendencies simply mean that you have a knack for observation and reflection and you’re determined to do a good job. These are traits that companies love to have in their employees! So don’t feel bad about those “bitch” tendencies. Be proud that there are special skills and talents that come naturally to you.
- You’ll feel more complete. At the very least, not worrying every time someone calls you a bitch will lead to some radical self-acceptance. You won’t have this cognitive dissonance going on where you’re trying to be someone you’re not in order to please someone who won’t accept you for you, anyway. Stop trying to shake those “bitchy” traits! Don’t try to hide, get rid of or make excuses for any part of yourself. If other people can’t deal, then that’s their problem.
Again, owning your “bitch” traits is not an excuse for fundamentally bad behavior, like treating people terribly or slacking off on the job. But if you’re denying relatively harmless parts of yourself – being too quiet or too loud, too skeptical or selfish – and people are calling you out for it, then it’s time to realize that the true problem lies with them, not you. There’s nothing wrong with being a bitch, nothing wrong with knowing who you are, what you want and not taking crap from other people. The only thing that could come of accepting yourself is living a happier, more authentic life. And what’s so bad about that?