Sleeping with a new guy is exciting, but it also comes with a whole host of issues and fears that can drive you crazy. You know there are things you should ask him before you get naked, but you might let things slide because you’re afraid of killing the mood. Get over it. Your health and well-being are worth more than a few moments of awkwardness, and you really need to know these 9 things before you hop into bed with him:
- If he has protection. How often have you found yourself laying there all hot and bothered and ready to go, only to find out neither one of you has a condom? If there’s even a slight chance you might end up sleeping with a guy, you should keep one (that isn’t expired) on hand so you’re ready in this situation.
- If he’s been tested recently. If you choose to go sans condom (which you should only be doing if you’ve been dating the guy regularly and know you’re exclusive — and even then, proceed with caution), then make sure he’s been tested recently. This is good to know even if you’re using protection, too. He could lie, sure, but most guys will be caught off guard that you asked and will be less able to conjure up a lie. Getting laid is not worth a gift that keeps giving, seriously.
- If he intends to spend the night. This can be so, so awkward if it isn’t handled in advance. If you’re actually dating him then this isn’t a big deal, but if you aren’t, you might want to gauge his expectations, maybe by asking what he has going on the next morning. Next morning awkwardness is worth avoiding if at all possible, trust me.
- If he has boundaries. You might be really kinky, but the guy you’re sleeping with isn’t on the same page. Asking him what he does and doesn’t like is a pretty easy way to figure out how far he wants to go. It’s worth asking before you do something that freaks him out and ruins the whole experience.
- If he understands your boundaries. It’s incredibly important that he knows that you don’t like butt sex, for example. Some guys will try to push the limit as far as possible, and if you don’t want to end up pissed off at him or completely turned off/violated, make sure to mention your no-nos and stick to them.
- If this is a one time thing. If you’re dating, then you’d better hope that there’ll be future encounters, but if you aren’t dating and you’re unsure of your status, just ask him. You can do it without being weird, but make sure you don’t go in expecting more, only to have him usher you out the door before you even have your bra back on.
- If this is a precursor to something else (if you’re just hooking up). Similarly, if you’ve just been hookup buddies but it seems like there’s something else going on — just ask! Life is too short to not get what you want, and sometimes it requires a little uncomfortable conversation.
- If he’s sleeping with anyone else (if you’re trying to be exclusive). If it matters to you that he’s only banging you, then you need to ask him. Don’t snoop or ask other people, either. If you trust him enough to get naked with him, then you need to be respectful enough to ask him questions straight up.
- How much he’s had to drink. So this one isn’t anywhere near as serious as the rest, but a limp penis is no joke when you’re aching for good sex. #notevenajoke
