There’s this misconception that if you’re not in a relationship and you haven’t been in one for awhile, something must be wrong with you. Obviously, that’s just not true. A lot of people look at me and assume I’m cold-hearted, picky, and incapable of feeling just because I’m not constantly searching for my better half. In actuality, I’m open to love and finding a soulmate, I’m just not all that needy.
- I open up, just not to everyone. I have no problem going out and meeting strangers. I’m actually quite the social butterfly when I want to be. Do I form close bonds with everyone I meet? No. Honestly, I don’t really share my emotions with a majority of my friends, but that’s because I’m careful with who I open up to. Not everyone is trustworthy, which is why it takes me awhile to be my complete self with someone. However, once I find a person I’m comfortable with, I show them everything.
- I’m committed to my boundaries. The boundaries I’ve set for myself and for others in my life weren’t created on a whim. My standards are based on my experiences and making sure I don’t make the same mistakes. So while some people might think I’m too “picky,” I’m really just stable enough to say no to things and people that I know aren’t going to benefit me in the long run.
- I don’t typically react—I think first. Emotionally stable people are notorious observers and occasionally overthinkers. It’s hard to know what we’re thinking most of the time because we don’t typically react. We observe and then we process our emotions fully before doing anything drastic. I’m the opposite of an over-reactor. I’m not quick to the draw, but I can still make decisions.
- It took me a long time to get here but I truly love myself. I’m not obsessed with myself but I definitely practice self-care. My mom always told me how important it was for me to love myself fiercely and way more seriously than anyone else. She was right. I’ve learned the only way I can accept love from others is if I accept love from myself to myself first.
- I’m not overly self-involved. Emotionally unavailable people often use themselves as an excuse to not focus on the people in their lives. That’s not me. I do consider myself a priority but I don’t take it too far. I don’t cancel plans last minute or avoid plans altogether because I’m afraid of committing to even the smallest things. I value the people in my life.
- I cut people off but only when they deserve it. I can cut guys off very quickly. Honestly, I can cut pretty much anyone off pretty damn quickly, but that’s only when they’ve given me a reason to do so. When I discover someone who has a bad attitude or some kind of negative energy, I have to walk away. The way I see it, life’s too short to be surrounded by people who bring out the worst in you.
- I don’t get upset easily. I do my best to keep my emotions in check. I’m not a control freak who’s afraid of crying in public (although I probably would never do that), I just hate letting my emotions get the best of me for no reason. Most things aren’t that big of a deal, so whenever I feel myself getting overwhelmed by a feeling, I talk it out to make sure I have perspective on the situation.
- I don’t ignore my feelings, I process them. I don’t repress my feelings or try to avoid them in any way (that crap can kill you), I just listen to them very carefully. I spend time with my feelings and give them the respect they deserve. I treat my feelings like they’re an actual person. I find it’s easier to not let feelings control you when you view them that way.
- I’m accountable for my actions. If anything, I don’t blame people enough. Even when someone wrongs me, my first attack is towards myself for misreading the signs and ignoring the obvious. When my ex-boyfriend came back into my life and convinced me to give him another shot only to break up with me shortly after, I didn’t blame him. Don’t get me wrong, I was pissed, but I focused my energy on talking to myself to make sure I learned a lesson from the experience.
- I know I’m not perfect. It’s not that I think I’m Miss Perfect. I’m not just looking for the best of best of people. I know I’m not perfect; I know I have flaws. I’m not blind to them. I’ve just chosen to embrace my imperfections for what they are and honestly, I think that’s the trick to this whole life thing. In order to be happy, genuinely happy, you have to be emotionally stable which is just another way to say you have to be okay with who you are.
