If you’re like me, you’ve probably worried a guy was lying in a gutter somewhere when he didn’t reply to your text. Sadly, I also subscribed to that warped line of thinking… until it actually happened. A guy I thought was ghosting me actually died.
- I was extremely cynical. When I met this guy online, I thought he seemed cool and I wanted to meet up with him in RL. But I was also highly cynical about dating and men because I’d just come out of a heartbreaking breakup. I was desperately trying to believe that there were still good men out there.
- I tried to have faith. So I accepted his invitation. We took our chatting offline and met for coffee at a restaurant. I was so nervous and worried, and he seemed pretty stressed out too. We ended up bonding about that. We got along well and I definitely felt a spark, so when he asked if I’d like to see him again, I said yes and meant it.
- He proved to be a rare find. Not only did we get along like a house on fire, but he was so refreshing because he was reliable. Whenever he said that he’d call or text, he actually did. This was new to me because many guys in the past had always lied to me about that.
- I was excited about a guy for the first time in forever. I thought I was on the cusp of something new and wonderful. It was so nice to relax with a guy I was dating for a change, and I saved a lot of brain cells because I didn’t have to sit there analyzing his texts or behavior out of fear that he was going to disappoint me.
- Then he went AWOL on me. I couldn’t believe it when he stopped replying to my texts. Just my freaking luck! I try to muster some faith in the dating game and then I get ghosted. What’s up with that, Universe? Admittedly, I hounded him a little. I wanted him to answer me, so I sent more texts asking him where he was and if he was OK. He still didn’t reply. Things started to feel weird.
- I’m usually paranoid, but this was different. I know that I can be a little OTT sometimes. When I don’t hear from the guy I’m dating, I immediately worry that he hates me or that something bad has happened to him. But this time, the feeling that something just wasn’t right wouldn’t go away. It felt more like a gut feeling than paranoia.
- His online behavior confirmed it. Thinking that maybe he was just avoiding me but being his normal self on social media, I searched for him online. Even though he’d recently been on Facebook and Instagram, his accounts were free of any juice. He hadn’t posted anything in days. Weird. Where was the guy?
- I tried calling. I didn’t want to use my number in case he thought I was a stalker, so I hid it from view and dialed his number to check up on him but his phone just rang and rang. I kept checking his social media profiles in case there was any news. It felt obsessive, but I just needed answers. It had been two weeks since I’d heard from him!
- Then I saw the shocking news. One day, I logged onto Facebook and glanced at his profile in case he’d posted something. I thought I’d find nothing on there, as usual, but this day was different. Two people had posted on his wall saying that they were shocked that he was gone and they hoped he’d rest in peace.
- Wait, what?! This was freaking me out. Had the guy really died? More people posted on his timeline giving their condolences. When people commented on the posts asking what had happened to him, the answer was that he’d been in a fatal car accident. Oh my God.
- I sank into grief. It probably sounds crazy that I mourned the guy as though we’d been dating for years, but even though I didn’t really know him that well, I guess I was mourning the fact that such a great guy had lost his life at the young age of 28. I was also heartbroken at our missed opportunity. Who knows what could’ve happened for us if he hadn’t died?
- It taught me to be grateful. This shocking, heartbreaking experience really did make me see that I was wasting my time being cynical. Every day was so precious and I had to enter them all with faith and the understanding that any day could be my last. It also made me so grateful for the short amount of time I’d known that guy. I was lucky we’d crossed paths. He’d entered my life at a time when I desperately needed someone to show me that there are still good guys out there, and I’m forever thankful to him for that reminder.
