As many single women know all too well, wanting a boyfriend is not the same as getting one. You can’t just snap your fingers and have your Prince Charming appear (too bad). There are so many factors that play into why some of us stay single longer than others, but at a certain point, you have to examine what you’re doing and what you should change. Here are the 10 real reasons you’re single, not the lies you may have been telling yourself:
- You want to be. I know lots of single women who are totally happy that way, and that’s great for them, really. However, if you’re projecting a super solo image to the world and spending your time working and with friends, you don’t really have the right to complain that you wish you had a boyfriend. At a certain point, you have to actually date if you want to meet someone. It’s a crazy idea, I know.
- First dates freak you out. First dates freak us all out, if we’re all completely honest. Still, you kind of need to go on one if you want to eventually find a relationship. If you’re honestly shy about meeting a new person, the only way to get over your fear is to go on as many dates as you can. You may not find love each time, but you’ll become much better at talking to strangers and can move on from your fears.
- You’ve never been in love. It makes more sense for 20-somethings to have less dating experience today than maybe it would have decades ago, thanks to our hook-up culture and how difficult it is to meet people in person. But if you’ve never said those little three words to someone, it’s possible that’s stopping you from having the chance to finally say them. Stop worrying about what guys will think of how many people you have or haven’t been with and focus on being the cool girl that you are.
- You refuse to go on dates. If you don’t date, you will 100 percent stay single, because again, your dream guy isn’t exactly going to fall from the sky. You have to put yourself out there. If you don’t, Netflix will be your boyfriend forever. As nice as that sounds, you might want some human companionship at some point.
- 5. You hide behind your career. Work can be the best thing about our lives and the worst, depending on how much we’re succeeding and whether we have the boss from hell or not. Unfortunately, work can be a total clutch for single women. After a bad date or breakup, it’s so simple to throw yourself into what you do and believe that this is what matters. And it does. But love matters, too.
- You make it harder than it has to be. Lots of things have changed in the past few decades but the fact is, it’s always been pretty obvious if someone likes you as much as you like them. We spend too much time deciphering text messages like we’re studying for an Algebra exam but we really don’t have to. If he likes you, you’ll know. Really.
- You assume you’ll hate everyone. This is a pretty easy trap to fall into and it’s super difficult to get yourself out of it. Who hasn’t suffered through a seemingly endless stream of first dates that would make you rather die than try again? The problem is it’s kind of unfair to believe that no one will ever be good enough for you when you clearly haven’t met every guy in your city. Would you want someone to think they’re going to loathe you before they’ve even met you?
- You pick the wrong guys. Sometimes we’re so interested in being in a relationship that we’ll go against our instincts and start seeing someone we don’t even care about. Then we’re scratching our heads five months later, wondering why he just ended things. You might find yourself single because you’re not picking relationship-minded guys.
- You think you’re Taylor Swift. Yes, she’s the best. She’s more than the best. She’s also been an amazing single girl that we can all look up to since she swore off guys for quite a while there. But even the great T-swift has found love again (or at least the kind of love that inspires another pop hit). So what’s your excuse?
