What Is The Meaning Of Clingy? 13 Things A Guy Means When He Calls You This

If the guy you’ve been dating calls you clingy, you might be surprised or confused as to why. Clinginess makes you think of someone who’s holding onto the person they’re dating for dear life, as though they can’t breathe without them, but there are other things that being slapped with this label can mean. So, brace yourselves, ladies — here’s the meaning of clingy and what he really means when he accuses you of it.

  1. You’re needy. When a guy calls you “clingy,” he could really mean that you need him for too much. Maybe he’s the one you call when you need advice or someone to fetch your car from the mechanic, or whenever some kind of drama crash-lands into your day. He might get the feeling that you’re not very independent and are leaning on him too much for stuff that you should be dealing with.
  2. You’re jealous. He might call you clingy when he actually means to say you’re jealous. The two are definitely linked. Think about how being suspicious of what your guy’s doing can make you display clingy behavior, like ramping up how often you text or call him to check up on him. Similarly, if you’re always ripping his exes or female co-workers to shreds, it’s definitely a sign of jealousy and clinginess out of fear of losing him.
  3. You want to chat daily. While he might think you’re being clingy because you want to chat to him daily via text, that doesn’t mean you’re actually clingy. It’s really that you guys have different texting chemistry and styles. He might feel it’s cool to chat every two or three days, whereas that’s way too long for you. This is why deciding what works for you is best to prevent misunderstandings.
  4. You don’t let him breathe. This is another meaning of clingy. When a guy says he wants “space,” he might feel a tad suffocated in the relationship. Again, this can actually be his perspective because you guys have different communication styles, but it could also be that you’re trying too hard to lead the relationship to where you want it, such as by initiating dates and WhatsApp chats all the time. He’s struggling to keep up! Let him miss you!
  5. You don’t let him do his own thing. When you guys aren’t together, do you let him hang out with his male friends and pursue his hobbies, or do you chase him down with texts? This could be based on your own insecurities, especially if you feel lost without him. If it’s the latter, he might be calling you clingy in no time, meaning you need to learn how to back off a bit.
  6. You’re defining the relationship too fast. If you haven’t been dating for too long but you’re asking him to DTR and you won’t let it go, he might be pulling further away from you because he’s not on the same page as you. While there’s no hard-and-fast rule when it comes to the best time to define things, it helps to suss out where he’s at before you demand that he make things official.
  7. You’re physically clingy. You might be called clingy because you always want to touch and hug your partner. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting affection, it might feel like too much to the guy you’re dating if he has different physical needs. For example, in public you might be keen on having lots of PDA whereas he’s not into it at all.
  8. You demand his attention in public. If you’re hanging out with your guy’s friends and you’re shutting down or getting angry when you’re left on your own and he’s socializing a storm, he might feel like he’s got to babysit you when you’re out in public. This could make him think you’re clingy.
  9. You’re generally desperate for his attention. This is the most obvious meaning of “clingy.” Do you ask him why he didn’t “like” your latest Instagram selfie? Do you send him cryptic texts so that he’ll get in touch and check in with you? If you’re always vying for his attention, he might start to feel like you’re a bit over the top because you need him to make you happy.
  10. You’re always waiting around for him. One of the biggest signs of clinginess for a guy is if you don’t have a life of your own and are always waiting for him to do stuff. A guy wants to be around someone who’s got her own life, with her own interests, hobbies, and passions. Otherwise, it feels to him like she’s been waiting around for him to make her life happen.
  11. You’ve got trust issues. If you always need reassurance from your boyfriend that he loves you and wants to be with you, this can make it feel like you’re emotionally needy. Explore why you don’t trust what he says. Is it because his words don’t match his actions? Or, is it because you’re so hurt from a previous relationship that you’re waiting for the shoe to drop with this guy?
  12. You’re controlling. On the darker side of clinginess is controlling behavior. Maybe your guy feels like you’re always trying to control him, like by telling him not to hang out with his best mates and stay home with you instead. He might start to feel like you’re not in love but trying to run his life.
  13. You’re making him your world. Being clingy sometimes comes up in weird ways, without you even realizing that you’re coming across this way. If you’re always blowing off your friends and other social commitments because you’d rather be with the guy, that’s a huge red flag for him that you’re depending on him too much. While he wants to be important to you, he doesn’t want to be your entire life. That’s freaky.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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