A Guide To Getting Back In The Dating Game After A Long Dry Spell

After a string of seemingly endless bad dates, it’s only natural to want to take a break from the romance scene and just chill on your own for a while. You get tired of going out with people and making an effort, and the guys are so boring it practically defies logic. But while a temporary dry spell can be a welcome change, there will likely come a time when you’re ready to jump back into the swing of things and get some action. When your time comes, here’s how to kick-start your dating life again, and hopefully find more success this time around.

  1. Try more, whine less. You can talk straight through an entire happy hour with the girls about how hard it is to meet people and how hard you’re trying, but what are you actually doing? Could you join a dating site? Ask your friends to hook you up with someone? Ask someone out?
  2. Ask yourself if you would date you. If that thought gives you a twinge of some sort, or reminds you that you haven’t put away your laundry for three weeks or that you’re still very hung up on your ex, maybe there are a couple things you could work on. There’s no shame in stepping up your own game.
  3. Get rid of your old booty call. He seems harmless to keep around since you would never actually be caught in public with him, but who knows, maybe spending time with him is lowering your energy to crappy guy status and not shaking free the rest of the day. You don’t want to project “taken” when you’re not.
  4. Discover – and then ditch – your previous patterns. If every single guy you meet seems great until you realize he’s totally obsessive and bizarre, think about why you keep drawing that type. Does it reflect some of those behaviors in you? Do you secretly relish in the drama?
  5. Learn through your friends’ experiences. You don’t have to take the advice of all your friends, which is often conflicting, but do listen to their perceptions of their experiences and the guys they’ve met. Failed tales can teach you lessons and romance slam-dunks can give you hope.
  6. Go ahead and hit on guys. Whether or not actually asking a cutie out is your style, try exercising your flirting tactics and flirt with twice as many people as you normally would. And no, just looking at someone is not considered flirting.
  7. Think about where you went wrong before. If you’re not getting asked out on second dates after what you think to be a good first ones, is it possible that you’re being a little needy/standoffish/confusing/defensive/friend vibe? Anything? Be honest.
  8. Join a dating site. Yeah, it could be terrible, but that’s all perspective. Aren’t all those weird messages you’re getting sort of entertaining, not to mention a little confidence-boosting? Hello, miss popular.
  9. Be your own whole world. You shouldn’t push people away to keep them out of your space, but you should fill your life with things that make you happy whether or not there is a guy there to enjoy them with you. You’re not a partial person while you’re single, you’re just single.
  10. Get happy. Happy, healthy, authentic people are super attractive, so whatever you can do to honor your own well-being will increase your odds of being appealing to the right guys who deserve you.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com