Always Going For The “Hot Guy” Is A Bad Move — Give The Understated Guy A Chance Too

While it’s tempting to set your sights on a guy who’s the definition of hotness — attractive, charming and charismatic, potentially financially well-off — there’s a reason that relationships with this type of guy always ends in disaster. Maybe it’s time to start looking for something more, because not only is Mr. Popular a waste of time, there’s someone so much better out there for you. Here’s why you should give the uncool guy a chance:

  1. He Doesn’t Care About Following The Crowd. There’s something appealing about a man who can pull off the IDGAF factor. Don’t get me wrong, ladies — he shouldn’t be apathetic about everything in life, but if he doesn’t have a problem straying from the status quo and following the beat of his own drum, that’s actually way cooler than a guy who thinks he’s the millennial James Dean. No thanks.
  2. He’s low-key, which will probably translate to his relationships too. I’m not a stage show and I don’t want my relationship to be one either. That guy you walk past every day in the street/train station/lobby of your apartment building may not immediately jump out at you with his casual clothes and George R.R. Martin book in hand, but look again and you may find more potential than you initially gave him credit for. He’s understated and not interested in drama, and that bodes well for a potential relationship.
  3. He’s Quirky, which makes him way more interesting. He’s not really concerned with seeming stereotypically “cool” and prefers to do his own thing. This means he’s probably got some interesting quirks and unique hobbies that will open your worldview and also be a whole lot of fun. Sure, he might like football and beer too, but things likely go way deeper than that.
  4. He won’t mind cozy nights in on the couch.  Once the weather starts getting colder, all you want to do is put on your coziest PJs and hit the couch with some hot cocoa and Netflix. Sure, it’s nice to go out on the town and you still want to have real date nights, but sometimes it’s nice to camp out at home with a bottle of wine, and since the “uncool” guy doesn’t really care about the scene, so to speak, he’ll probably be more than happy to indulge you in this.
  5. He’ll really, truly listen to you when you talk. That’s not to say that only quiet, understated guys listen to people, just that someone who’s always done more talking in their lives than listening probably won’t have honed in on the latter skill. He may not be stereotypically cool, but this guy will actually hear what you’re saying and internalize it. Ugh, what a nice change.
  6. He won’t find your Geek Talk Off-PuttingAny man that supports you in your fangirling and drool sessions over the latest sci-fi scores an automatic 10 in the relationship stakes. The popular jock isn’t going to have time to listen to you go on about why Star Wars will always outrank any other Hollywood movie ever made, and they sure as heck aren’t going to sit with you and devour an entire bucket load of popcorn while I do it. This guy will. Take him.
  7. Staring In The Mirror All Day Is Not His Hobby. The best part of being with someone who doesn’t put looks (yours or theirs) at the top of their list is not having to stop and watch them pose every five minutes as they admire themselves while walking past shop windows. You don’t want to spend half your day having to stop and wait for him to primp and preen. Sure, he can stop and give himself a quick once-over or occasional glance, but once he breaks out the Mr. Universe poses, it’s all over.
  8. He probably has a Great Sense Of Humor. Yes, all guys have the potential to have a well-developed sense of humor, but a guy who’s spent much of his life attempting to deflect people’s attention from the flaws and inadequacies society tries to convince him he has is going to have great coping mechanisms in place. What better coping mechanism is there than humor?
  9. He’s Less Likely To Play Around. Nobody should be naive enough to think that only popular people would cheat — anybody is capable of wandering outside of the relationship. However, someone who doesn’t have and has never had dozens of girls throwing themselves at him at any given time is going to be more likely to cherish the one he does have when he gets her. If you do happen to find someone like this, be sure to return the favor and keep your loyalty in check. If you expect a king, you have to treat him as such.
  10. He Has No Reason To Hide Who He Really Is. When there are no expectations to live up to, it’s easy to be yourself and mean it — and if you’re with someone who freely shows themselves for who they are, it’s likely to rub off on you. There are enough pretenders in the world, so go for the one that lets you be who you need to be.
Maggie is a freelance writer based in Perth, Western Australia. When she isn't swigging wine straight from the bottle, she is busy procrastinating on her housework. Currently working on her first novel, she is also the creator of The Reverse Housewife and regular contributor to Hub Garden.