Are You It For Him Or Is He Keeping His Options Open?

Things seem to be going well and you’re more than ready to make a serious commitment, but does he feel the same? If he’s doing these things, sorry, but he’s keeping his options open.

  1. He insists on splitting the bill 50/50 every time. If he isn’t offering to pay for you or letting you pay for him at least some of the time, this might be a sign that he doesn’t want to get too invested—emotionally or financially.
  2. He doesn’t leave anything at your house. Not even a toothbrush—nothing. If he refuses to keep anything at your house, this could be a sign that he’s afraid he won’t be back to get it. He doesn’t want to have to come back for his stuff after you guys call it quits.
  3. He hasn’t closed down his dating app accounts. Let’s face it, if he’s still active on dating apps, he’s still keeping his options open. Don’t let him fool you with that “I totally forgot about that!” BS. If he was serious about you, he’d delete them—especially if he met you on one!
  4. He doesn’t make future plans with you. He’s mentioned a wedding coming up of a buddy of his but he hasn’t invited you yet. If you bring it up in casual conversation to ask if he’s going and he still doesn’t ask if you want to come, he may not be sure if you’ll be together by then. Or, he may have someone else he’s thinking of bringing as his date.
  5. He doesn’t talk about your future together. He doesn’t sometimes just casually say things like, “Well, when we have kids…” or “Someday we’ll buy our dream home.” That’s probably because he isn’t picturing a future with you or he’s still keeping his options open.
  6. He hasn’t introduced you to his family yet. If you haven’t met his mom and dad, or at least his siblings, he might not be that serious about you yet. He may be still waiting to see if you guys are going to be a good long-term match before letting you into his world.
  7. You don’t hang out with his friends. If he doesn’t try to integrate you into his friend group or even bring you around them then he’s probably still not sure if you guys are going to work out long-term or not. A guy who’s sure about you will definitely include you in outings with his closest pals, at least once in a while.
  8. His friends’ girlfriends/wives don’t reach out to you. If they’re planning a girls trip or a girls brunch and don’t invite you, that’s probably not a good sign. They’ve probably heard from their boyfriends or husbands that you may or may not be around for long. They’re not going to invest in a friendship with you if they don’t think your relationship with him is going to last. That would just be awkward for everyone if you broke up.
  9. He hasn’t said those three little words yet. If he hasn’t yet told you that he loves you, he’s definitely still in the stages of figuring out if he wants to be serious with you. Saying “I love you” is a serious milestone in a relationship. He shouldn’t take it lightly, sure, but he also shouldn’t hesitate to say it if that’s how he feels.
  10. He doesn’t share things with you. Maybe it’s his Netflix password, a key to his apartment, or even his laundry detergent. If he tells you to get your own, it could be because he doesn’t seem himself investing in you. That, or he’s just selfish!
  11. He’s hesitant to put a label on your relationship. If he’s not claiming you as his girlfriend yet, he isn’t serious about you yet. If he was sure, he would make sure you two are exclusive and that you and everyone else knows it.
  12. He’s sleeping with you but you guys don’t do much else. If you’re not having fun outside of the bedroom too, that might be a sign he’s just into you for the sex.
  13. He just laughs or changes the subject when you bring up your relationship status. If he doesn’t take you seriously when you try to have the “what are we?” or “where is this going?” conversation, its probably because he doesn’t want to have it. And if he doesn’t want to have it, he’s avoiding the inevitable: telling you that he just isn’t sure right now.
I love to write on my laptop with my cat on my lap and a cup of tea nearby :)