Bad Boys & Nice Guys Are Wastes Of Time—Go For A Guy Like This Instead

I used to think that nice guys were the salvation from my terrible, heartbreak-filled dating life. I completely changed my strategy and went only after the sweet, innocent dudes who promised they wouldn’t hurt me. Guess what—those self-proclaimed “good guys” ended up screwing me over too. Here’s the kind of guy you should go for instead—I know I will.

  1. He’s willing to sacrifice convenience for you. As a traveler, I often ask guys to come with me on trips. Few agree, but the ones who do don’t mind driving for three hours if they have to in order to make me happy. I’ve even begun weeding out those who claim they like me by asking them to go camping. If a guy isn’t willing to sleep on the ground for a night or drive a few dozen miles, he’s not good enough. It doesn’t matter how nice he is about saying “no” if he blows you off in the end.
  2. He sees you as a priority. Good or mean guys see you in the same way—a pretty face and a companion to use whenever they get bored. You need the type of guy who will see you as a top priority. To him, dates with you will be an official calendar agenda and he’ll be prepared. He’ll have cool ideas for trips in mind, show you interesting spots, and know that you could be doing a million other things because you’re a catch. That’s the man you need, not a nice guy who’s “too busy” all the time.
  3. He always shows up on time. I’ve waited countless hours for men to show up—yes, even the “good” ones. I once had a boyfriend whose chances of actually coming to a date were 50/50, so I never knew whether I should dress up or just go cry in the bathroom. The type of guy who will make you happy is the one who shows up on time—and let me tell you, he does exist. I recently scheduled a date with someone who didn’t sweep me off my feet but was so excited to be with me, he showed up 15 minutes early. You deserve a guy who will make you feel desired and important.
  4. He doesn’t parade his “niceness.” If the guy you’re dating constantly claims that he’s one of the “nice ones,” you need to run. These guys are dangerous because they can make you think that YOU’RE the bad guy. Plus, in many cases, nice guys don’t have much else to offer besides a little more kindness than your average douchebag. The type you need is a mature guy who knows how to show and not tell when it comes to his niceness.
  5. He wouldn’t even dream of canceling plans. Canceling plans sucks for so many reasons. It makes you feel like a loser and diminishes your self-esteem. The type you should look for is a guy who would never cancel on you, regardless of circumstances. Of course, if he can’t show up due to an emergency, that’s understandable. Canceling because “the game is on” or “the boys came over for beers,” however, is unacceptable. If he really likes you, he’d do anything to be with you, so stop selling yourself short to those who don’t care enough even if they’re nice.
  6. He bases your relationship on trust, not niceness. Ah, I remember the days when I was actually able to trust a man. Sadly, those are long gone. Thanks to constantly being canceled on by ex-boyfriends, both nice ones and jerks, I grew cynical of dating. Trust is a key aspect of every successful relationship and having it is a non-negotiable must. The type of guy you should be with is the one you can rely on fully. Don’t settle for half-kept promises. It’s all or nothing when it comes to trust and you deserve it all.
  7. He doesn’t try too hard to please you. The type of guy who’s worth your time will not kill himself over pleasing you, and that’s a good thing. Often, nice guys will do things they normally wouldn’t just to get you hooked. How many times has a guy given you flowers only to end up cheating in the end? Or, how about those dudes who shower you with compliments only to ghost you? The type of man you need is the one who keeps it real. Showing genuine interest without going out of his way is a clear indication of quality. Look for that.
  8. He’s not just a hypocrite in disguise. Let’s be real—being nice all the time is draining and it’s not realistic. As much as I try to be a decent person, I need to be a jerk sometimes, too. If the guy you’re dating is being too nice too much, he’s probably full of crap. I’m not saying that he should fight with you or be mean, but you need to be with a type of man whose moods change every now and again. Life isn’t always perfect, so don’t be fooled by a hypocrite who acts like every day is a blessing.
  9. He stands his ground. The type of man you deserve is confident and knows exactly what he’s doing. He doesn’t let anyone criticize him when he’s doing his job well. After all, in a world full of followers, being a leader is what makes you successful. You don’t need a nice guy who’s a total pushover. He knows that it’s impossible to please everyone all the time and that’s okay. Go for a driven, poised guy—don’t settle for niceness.
  10. He cares about your career. It’s true that sometimes mixing work and love is a bad idea. The type of guy who will make you happy, however, wants you to be successful as much as you do. He isn’t preoccupied with niceness. He’s actively working on building you up and helping you reach your goals, even if that means lecturing you at times.
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.