My Bad Relationship Was The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me

My Bad Relationship Was The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To Me

I once dated a complete and utter loser. He was the textbook kind of guy your mom warns you to stay away from, but I went for him anyway. We dated for two months and they were the worst, yet most enlightening, months of my life. As it turns out, briefly dating a complete loser actually turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened to me, because everything he put me through taught me so much about myself.

  1. If a guy ever cheats, drop him immediately.This guy cheated on me very early on, claiming that he didn’t know if we were official yet, and I bought it. After the relationship ended, I found out he cheated on me with at least four other girls. The “once a cheater, always a cheater” cliche is actually true.
  2. Never date someone who won’t make you a priority.I’m not a complete psycho, I understand that things come up and plans change, but this kid constantly canceled weekend dates with me. I should have been a priority, and when he continuously put me on the back burner, I started to realize he wasn’t worth the frustration.
  3. You need to trust the guy you’re with.Nothing bothered him — it’s like he didn’t have a conscience. People like that are scary and untrustworthy. I realized I needed trust in a person for the relationship to be successful.
  4. Any guy who negatively comments about your weight can go play in traffic. He told me that he only dates girls who are a size 6 or smaller. I was an 8 to start, but quickly dropped 2 pant sizes because I was so anxious and stopped eating. When the relationship ended, I realized I had an issue with eating and immediately sought help from a counselor to help me get back on a healthy track.
  5. Never put up with a guy who talks crap about your family. He thought my mom was too strict, thought my brother was too intimidating, etc. My family is wonderful. Being with someone who respected and appreciated my family quickly became a high priority on my list when it came to finding a partner.
  6. If he has no motivation to get a job, he has no motivation in life. RED FLAG. After I ended things, one of the most important things I learned was that a guy with motivation and goals (no matter what they were) is important and vital to any healthy relationship.
  7. He should have eyes for you, not every other woman walking by. If I had a dollar for every time he would comment on a girl’s ass, eyes, hair, boobs, smile, etc., I would be retired and living in the Bahamas. Yes, there are other beautiful people in this world, but the constant comparison and criticism was unacceptable.
  8. No man should tell you what to do… ever. He bought me a pair of Vans and asked me to wear them to his baseball game, so I did. I hated Vans and after we broke up, I threw them away and promised myself to never change anything about myself for a guy again.
  9. If he jumps in too quickly, he’s probably not being genuine. Yes, right before he cheated on me, he told me he loved me… a week into the relationship. He knew how to play mind games, that’s for sure. You don’t just throw those three words around. They need to mean something, and they didn’t in our situation.
  10. You deserve complete respect and nothing less. He actually asked to have sex in my parents’ bed. This was the final straw. First of all, GROSS, and second of all, how disrespectful! The best part was he wanted to do it when they were home. He had no respect for my parents or for me. I ended it with him the next day.
Shelby is a New England girl who loves mimosas, edamame, new bras, and her Yorkie, Jack.