Here’s How You Know You’ll Be Just Fine After A Breakup, No Matter How Badly Your Heart Is Broken

When your heart’s broken and you’re feeling devastated after a breakup, it’s tempting to believe that you’ll never find happiness again, but that’s BS. Not only will you rebound from your loser ex, you’ll be so much better off than you were before.

  1. You know your pain is called grieving, not giving up. It’s important to know that being in so much pain after a breakup is totally fine. That means you’re grieving what was. It means you’re feeling the loss of the relationship, of a man you once loved. As long as you know that your pain is only temporary, that means you’re not giving up on love.
  2. You don’t play the bitter ex-girlfriend. At the beginning of a breakup, we’re all guilty of stalking our exes on social media. When you see that he’s got a new girlfriend or is traveling the world and partying every weekend, you don’t get bitter, make snide comments, or try to ruin his relationships. That’s called being mature.
  3. You’ve got an amazing girl gang to help you bounce back. It’s always great to have even a small group of trusted friends who won’t judge you, no matter what, but after a bad breakup, spending more time with your lady tribe will remind you that you’ll be just fine. They’ll let you cry about it at first, of course, but soon enough, they’ll remind you it’s time to stop throwing a pity party and start living your life again.
  4. You don’t blame anyone, not even him. It’d be easy to write what went wrong in the relationship off as all his fault, and maybe it really was, but you know it doesn’t pay to think that way. The relationship is over, and the less time you spend obsessing over who did what and why is more time you have to start building a bomb new life without him.
  5. You don’t pretend things are fine when they’re not; you let yourself cry it out. Crying can be cathartic sometimes, and you know that you’re better off letting the waterworks flow than holding it in and pretending it doesn’t bother you, only to have it explode later. Letting it all out is a much better option.
  6. You know you have a lot to be grateful for and you are. This life is full of so much goodness that was often got lost in the background when you were in your relationship. How that you’re on your own again, you have time to reflect on and appreciate all the wonderful things in your life. The more you make it a habit to be grateful for all the wonderful things in your life, the more you’ll realize how good you actually have it.
  7. You know better than to dive back in the dating scene immediately. If you choose to spend more time with yourself (and maybe with your pals), that’s a glowing bright sign that you’ll be fine. You know that having a new boyfriend immediately is not the solution to your pain. Sometimes, all we need to do to heal faster is spend more time with ourselves. It sounds cheesy and all but really, self-care is important.
  8. You refrain from stalking your exes on social media. Did he post something on Twitter? Is he dating someone new? Is he hooking up? These questions may have crossed your mind, but you try your best to refrain from stalking him on social media. See, teaching yourself to not care about his life after you is more than “being fine.” It also means you’re now ready to move on.
  9. You’re determined not to repeat the cycle. In every failed relationship, there’s always something to learn. It took me a while to realize this but when I did, it was golden. If you’re in the same boat, chances are you’re trying your best not to repeat the cycle. You become more selective with your men and you take things slow. You become extra cautious. All this is telling us one thing—you WILL be fine. Maybe not now, but pretty soon.
Part-poet, part-writer, and full-blooded human megaphone of the oppressed, Tammy focuses on covering heavy topics. To keep herself sane, she also writes about pop culture, life, and anything gay. She gets by with the smell of typewriter and sound of tattoo machines.