It’s easy to immediately write guys off who decide to introduce themselves online by sending flirty messages to your inbox. It’s obnoxious, creepy, and usually an obvious sign that they’re usually just looking for a quick hookup. Believe it or not, though, that’s not always the case — I know from personal experience since that’s how my current boyfriend got my attention. I’m not the only one who’s found love this way, so it could happen to you too. Here’s why you shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss those guys who slide into your DMs:
- Those guys are brave AF. Most guys are just as afraid of rejection as we are, and despite how cocky it might come across for a guy to just flirtily message you out of nowhere, it’s good to acknowledge that he just totally took a leap of faith and probably stepped out of his own comfort zone by doing so. There are a lot of guys out there who aren’t brave enough to make this kind of approach.
- It’s a bit more personal that online dating. Social media is generally a pretty good place to get to know people these days. You share your personal moments and you’re networking with friends and family, which is a nice change-up from the penis pictures and crude messages you’re used to receiving through online dating. It might not be your ideal setup, but it’s no worse than being matched up with someone based on your favorite colors and movies on a dating app.
- It’s the modern-day equivalent of approaching you in real life. Look at it this way: what’s the difference between a guy coming up to you at a bar to offer to buy you a drink and a guy who messages you through Facebook to ask you out for dinner? There’s no difference at all really; they’re both making a bold attempt to get to know you better.
- Before you shut a guy down for being creepy, feel out his personality. A lot of women like to automatically assume the worst of these guys, and although it’s completely legit to be hesitant because of the horror stories and douchebag guys out there, it’s also okay to make a decision for yourself and get to know the guy a little before you put him into the creep files. If he seems like your type and it’s simply his approach that has you caught off guard, give him a chance to show you who he is before cutting him off or ignoring him.
- We literally summon strangers from the internet through Tinder — what’s the difference? If you can right swipe a guy’s face and meet him for coffee based on a short write-up and a few days’ worth of texts, then you should be able to open your mind up to the possibility that the guy who slides into your DMs could actually be a decent guy as well.
- Be safe, but take chances and step out of your comfort zone. There are legitimate reasons to be cautious with meeting or chatting with any guy online, but responding to someone whose profile seems legit — or even better, if you have mutual friends in common — is pretty safe territory for the most part. Trust your instincts and try and give the guy the benefit of the doubt until he shows you otherwise.
- You can judge a person better on their social media pages than on dating sites. One of the perks of being approached over social media accounts like Facebook instead of online dating accounts is that you truly do get a glimpse into their actual life most of the time. He doesn’t have six carefully selected pictures paired with the perfect write-up that was most likely copied and pasted from a dating article. Instead, his profile is a raw look at his real life.
- You have nothing to lose. There’s no harm in at least chatting with the guy who slides into your DMs. Things only start to get real when you agree to meet them in person, which is no different than any online dating app. Think of the guy who slides into your inbox as another eligible OKCupid bachelor. These guys really don’t deserve to be shunned for their more ballsy approach; they’re just going after what they want and taking a chance themselves. Unless they’re being deliberately rude or inappropriate, why not?
- He could be your forever guy. I’m sure I’m not the only living proof out there that those DM guys can actually turn into so much more. Relationships are different these days, and they form out of nowhere in the most random of places. Social media is the new “meeting in the line at the grocery store,” and if you’re lucky enough, one of those messages could be from the exact type of guy you’ve been hoping for, so don’t be so quick to dismiss it. Give it a shot — you just never know how it could turn out.