Conventional wisdom says that men want to marry beautiful, successful and smart women, but I beg to differ. In fact, I believe my intelligence, ambition, and even my hotness actually repel love—here’s why.
- I’m too good for a relationship. That sounds conceited, I know, but I’ve heard the “you’re too good for me” line so many times that it must be true, right? I’ve always been the cool girl, the one who can both chat it up with the girls and watch the game with the boys—that’s just me. I honestly think me being so awesome has cost me bigtime when it comes to relationships. Men look at me as a best friend, not a lover—and yes, I’ve actually been told that. Should I make an effort to change? Absolutely not. I am who I am and if a guy doesn’t like it, screw him.
- I don’t have time for a relationship. I could actually reword that statement to say “I don’t make time for a relationship.” My professional success is what motivates me. I’m inspired daily by the things I can do to make myself better. I’m fully invested in my dreams, so much so that I don’t even feel like opening up that dating app most times. I don’t want to be distracted from my professional goals, and that’s OK.
- There are too many women just like me. I’m part of a generation of women who believe the sky is the limit. We’ve made so many strides in the past few decades and we’re not stopping anytime soon. There are so many beautiful, bright, and successful women in the world, so if there’s a man who’s drawn to those characteristics, he’d have his pick of the litter. My beauty and brains no longer allow me to stand out, but frankly, that’s a good thing.
- My success is intimidating. Let’s be honest, there are some men who feel threatened by successful women. They’d never admit it but it’s totally true. Should I downplay my achievements to cater to those insecurities? Heck no. I could never dim my own light for someone else and I shouldn’t have to.
- I enjoy my freedom. There are so many perks to being single. First, you can date whoever you want, whenever you want. Not being tied down to one guy is certainly appealing, but it goes beyond that. I don’t have to consult anyone about any move I make. It can be as simple as deciding what’s for dinner or as complicated as deciding to pack my bags and move to Australia for three months. The decision is mine, and that’s just how I like it.
- I provide for myself. Society raises men to be providers, but I’ve been taking care of myself quite well without anyone’s help. I used the education I gained to find a career I love in order to create the life I want. Isn’t that the point? I’ll never put myself in a position where I’d have to depend on another person for my well-being, and neither should any other woman.
- I’m a control freak. I know not every successful person falls into this category, but many do. I owe many of my accomplishments to my ability to take charge. I like things to be done a certain way and I’ll likely take over before allowing someone else to mess it up. I know this way of thinking does a bit of damage to the male ego—in fact, it’s probably one of my most damaging characteristics when dealing with relationships—but my initiative has taken me so far in life. To turn it off now isn’t the answer.
- I’m too picky. If you’re good-looking and smart, chances are, you want someone who shares those same qualities. I’m hard to please and I won’t date just anyone. A guy needs to pass a certain intelligence test and he needs to be pleasing on the eyes. I refuse to lower those specific standards and I don’t think I should have to. There’s a guy out there who will meet them, right?
- I lack empathy. When God was handing out sensitivity, I’m pretty sure He skipped me. My most recent relationship ended because the man I was dating was way too soft. He needed emotional support he couldn’t pay me to provide. Some may read this and think, “How can you be so cold?” Even as I reflect, I can’t find a care to give. Life is too great to walk around moping. I refuse to pacify any adult, male or female.
- Men view me as complete. They’re not wrong about this. I’ve never been one to say I don’t need a man, but on the surface, it’s true. I’m extremely satisfied with my life, my accomplishments so far, and the direction in which I’m headed. A man cannot make me complete—I’ve handled that myself.
