Bitter & Cynical? Feeling Jaded Can Actually Help You Find Love

Being jaded is generally considered a bad thing, and it definitely can be if taken to the extreme. You obviously have to believe in the possibility love to some degree, but in moderation, being jaded can actually help you find it. Here’s why a quality most people consider negative can actually have a positive impact on your love life:

You don’t get overly hyped about dates. Looking forward to a date is one thing, but obsessing over what might happen and what it could lead to before it even happens is a whole other thing. When you’re a little jaded about dating, you tend to go into it with a more realistic perspective that can actually make the letdown when it doesn’t work out sting a little less.

You don’t fall for lies. Been there, done that. You can practically spot a lie before it even leaves a guy’s mouth because you’ve perfected the art of reading body language when straight listening didn’t cut it in the past. You take what you hear with a grain of salt — you’ll believe it when you see it, which means that a guy’s going to have to work a little harder to impress you.

You spend less time in a dream world and more time in reality. When you’re feeling jaded about men, the last thing you’re going to be doing is sitting around swooning over anyone, which means you have more time to do something real and meaningful with your time. Yeah, you’d like to find love, but in the meantime, you’ve got other stuff lined up.

You don’t buy the BS. Becoming jaded may have given you a bit of a bad attitude, but maybe that’s okay right now. Having a bit of an attitude means that you’re exceptionally clear about what works for you right now and what doesn’t, and unlikely to have the patience for BS in any form.

You never need a rebound. Please. When you’re jaded about love, the last thing you feel like doing is climbing into bed with some other new idiot to get over the last one. Eventually you’ll move on, but you’ll wait for someone who isn’t an idiot and save yourself a lot of trouble in the process. There’s no point wasting your time on something or someone you’re not 100% about.

You’re not afraid to go after a guy that actually catches your eye. Being jaded can give you a boost in the confidence department because you’re not worried about what’s going to happen — you kind of expect it to be a disaster and if it goes well, it’s a welcome surprise. There’s literally nothing to lose by being the one to make a move if you happen to be at all interested in someone, and if it happens to work out, that’s cool.

It takes a truly awesome guy to get you interested. You’re still open to finding a great guy, you’re just not in any rush to do so, so it’s easier for you pass up the mediocre options. You deserve a guy who’s on your level and can give you everything you’re looking for, and one of the best ways to find one is to not distract yourself with the other kinds.

You’re fully aware of what doesn’t work. Gone are the days of testing out types and traits and seeing it as an adventure — you know for certain what doesn’t work for you in a relationship and you won’t be circling back on those things ever again. Your standards have gotten progressively higher while still remaining realistic, which can only be a good thing.

When you find someone good, you know it. You never have to question your impression of a guy who seems great — if he actually managed to catch your eye, you trust your judgment enough to know he’s worthwhile. That doesn’t mean you believe it’s love at first sight, but maybe this time, it’s worth pursuing.

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