Whether it was an amicable agreed-upon split or an escape from a toxic nightmare, breakups can still hit hard. It’s a loss of the person you agreed to establish a title with and hopefully build a future together with. Even if it was a nasty separation, it may feel like a sour adjustment to go back to being solo again. It’s not all bad, though. Here are 8 reasons to feel excited about re-entering the dating pool.
- It’s a chance for a quick ego boost. It’s smart to be skeptical of someone’s motives when you’re getting back out there trying to date. Are they laying it on thick to secure a casual hookup or are they really looking for a full-on relationship like they say? No matter what their intentions are, this is the time someone is most inclined to flattery and seeking to be in your good graces. Don’t get me wrong, the cheesy pick-up lines can get sleazy and annoying, but if you can take the superficial charm with a grain of salt knowing it’s likely just a copy and paste generic gimmick sent to multiple people, it’s not the worst thing in the world to be flooded with light pleasantries. Just take all the “hello beautiful”s and “you have nice eyes” you can get and enjoy the kindness while it lasts for whatever reason it’s coming your way.
- You get to meet new people. Even if it doesn’t lead to a friendship or a relationship, it can still be an interesting experience to chat with people who have different life stories and jobs. You might learn something neat about someone or about yourself by interacting with them or just learn something new in general from them. I had a guy on a dating app once encourage me to stop procrastinating on a project and another guy who was hitting on me outside my apartment fix something on my car. Capitalizing on someone’s interest in you may sound user-ish, but it is convenient and they’re looking for something too so why not?
- It’s a relief from the hell you knew. Sometimes you don’t even know how draining and embarrassing someone is or even how bad a situation you were in really was until you step back. When you’re still in it, it may be hard to imagine walking away from what you have. But once that burden is lifted, you might see how much better you are without that BS. The wrong relationship can bring out the worst in you and literally have you sucked into so much drama and acting straight-up mad.
- It can give you hope for a better situation. The whole “grass is greener” philosophy isn’t a good reason to jump ship on what you have every time you feel a restless itch. But if you’re leaving a less than ideal situation, there’s *knock on wood* nowhere to go but up from there. Every time I break up with a crappy person my thought is how low the bar is now set for anyone else to impress me. My exes do the next a favor!
- It’s a break from responsibility. Going back to being single or casually dating can free up your schedule. You don’t have to regularly check in with anyone or carve out time for them. You can go out or talk to interests in your time and take breaks as needed from the dating scene. It also relieves you from holiday obligations to your significant other. You don’t have to worry about getting anyone a gift or having to make any particular day (like that anniversary you keep forgetting) special for them.
- It’s a chance to experiment. Now that you’re starting over, you can make changes or do things differently. Maybe you want to give polyamory a go or date someone entirely different. You could test your feelings out on dating for money instead of love. If you ever wondered if having sex too soon was ruining your relationships, you can commit to starting the next one off on a 90-day abstinence challenge and see if that changes anything. The point is, you’re not limited to just accepting what you get from the person you’re currently with. You’re more in control of what comes next since you can filter your preferences.
- It’s a fresh opportunity to enforce boundaries. After the last breakup, you should’ve at least walked away with more knowledge of what your deal breakers are the next time around. It’s kind of hard to stop mid-relationship after you’ve been letting things go for so long and try to put your foot down. It’s easier to establish clear expectations from the beginning.
- You may be more inclined to spruce yourself up. Once you get comfortable with someone, you may fall into not trying as hard to impress them. Maybe you’re subconscious about your weight, but since that person has seen you naked anyway you’re still going to take your clothes off for them if you pack a couple of extra holiday pounds. If you’re single, you don’t know what a new person will think about your “more to love.” This might be the motivation you need to keep the New Year’s weight-loss resolution or at least wear make-up and have your hair done more often.
