Dear Ex: This Is Why I Blocked You After We Broke Up

Social media means breakups aren’t as cut and dry as they used to be. There’s always a chance that a picture of him with his new girlfriend will pop up on your Instagram feed, one of your mutual friends will tag him in a Facebook status, or he’ll think it’s okay to fave your tweet about the horror movie you just saw. Luckily, the option to block and forget is always there, which is exactly what I decided to do with one ex in particular. If he wanted to know why, here’s what I’d tell him:

You wouldn’t leave me alone.

Even after it was over, you were still liking my pictures, trying to talk to me over Facebook messenger and tagging me in random posts. Even when I asked you to stop, you wouldn’t, so what other choice did I have?

I didn’t want to see your face.

Everyone who has ever been through a break up knows the temptation to scroll through an ex’s pictures one night after a couple glasses of wine is very real. I might have thought I wanted to keep that option open at first, but it got to a point where I just wanted to forget what you looked like altogether.

I didn’t want to know if you were dating.

The hardest part of breaking up is seeing your ex with someone new. If it was too soon, I’d wonder if you ever loved me. I’d obsess over whether she was prettier than me, if she was smarter than me, and it would snowball from there. Blocking you helped me avoid that.

I didn’t want you to know if I was dating.

As much as I disliked you by the end of our relationship, I still didn’t want to hurt you. I also didn’t want to leave the door open for you to possibly find and harass the new guy I was seeing. Given your previous behavior, I wouldn’t put it past you.

The temptation to check up on you was too strong.

Sometimes I still think about you and want to know how you’re doing, but since I have no intention of unblocking you, your life now remains a mystery, just like it should. I don’t want to stay stuck in the past — I’d rather look forward to my future.

It was easier to get over you.

This seems obvious, but there are still plenty of people who don’t take this simple step after a breakup. I didn’t want to wallow in our failed relationship for longer than necessary, so I needed to be free from the possibility that you would message me wanting to “talk.” I wasn’t strong enough in the beginning to say no to you, so I had to eliminate your presence in my life completely.

You told me I’d have to.

I remember you telling me once that if we ever broke up, I’d have to block your number because you’d never be able to keep your distance. Looking back, that’s a giant red flag. But I took your advice and not only blocked you on all social media but blocked your phone number too. Thanks for the tip.

It’s what you deserved.

After how you treated me, there was no way I was leaving an opening for you to sneak back into my life. I didn’t want you knowing anything about me anymore. I wasn’t okay with you being able to stalk my social media feeds without my knowledge, so blocking you was the only way to go.

I didn’t trust myself.

Breaking up with you might have been the right thing to do, but that doesn’t mean it was easy. There were times that I wanted to send you a message and talk to you all night like we used to. By blocking you, I put another step between myself and sending that incredibly ill-advised “what’s up?” text.

It was the first step in moving on with my life.

When I blocked you, I was finally ready to accept that it was really over and there was no turning back. It was like I was telling myself I wasn’t waiting for us to reconcile anymore– I was finally ready to move on.

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