My Boyfriend & I Are Best Friends & I Don’t Think It’s Healthy

It’s beautiful to meet someone who you connect with deeply, are madly attracted to, and that you can also just goof around with. I’ve been lucky enough to find such a connection, but sometimes I think we’re both missing out on other friendships because ours is just too damn good.

  1. We spend a ton of time together. Since my partner and I moved in together, I’ve spent more time with him than I have with any other person in my life. We both work from home, which means there’s barely a moment that we’re not a together. Luckily, we seem to really like each other and cohabitation is really smooth. I feel like I hit the jackpot on this one.
  2. Being around him is just easy. Because we have such a close relationship, I find myself feeling incredibly comfortable around him. We make each other laugh, share all our secrets, talk about everything. We even fart in front of each other these days, it’s that relaxed. If ever I want to just chill out in some easy company, he’s the man for the job.
  3. We’re not just lovers, we’re best friends. One of the things I love most about our relationship is that it’s built on a solid friendship. I know that no matter what happens, we’ve got each other’s backs. We truly admire and respect each other, for more than just our romantic partnership. My partner is my best friend and I feel so lucky to be with such an amazing man.
  4. It can be hard to hang with other people. There’s a downside to this, though. When I have my favorite person in the world to hang with at home, it can be hard to tear myself away and maintain other friendships. Who wants to make the effort of meeting new people or developing a burgeoning friendship when I can just sit at home with my sweetheart and binge-watch Battlestar Galactica?
  5. This isn’t entirely healthy. Humans are social creatures and without an active social life, we start to go a little crazy. Everyone needs friends—more than one, in fact—and I know we’re both depriving ourselves of other meaningful connections when we choose to focus so much on each other.
  6. Other friendships have fallen by the wayside. My partner and I recently moved cities and left a lot of our existing friends behind. While we’re still in touch with some of them, it’s not the same as having real-life interactions and we’ve begun to rely almost entirely on each other for our social needs.
  7. I miss having a best friend who isn’t my boyfriend. There are times when it hits me that I no longer have other close friendships in my life. I love my partner but I miss having other intimate relationships too. There are so many parts of my personality that don’t have a chance to come out simply because I’m not connecting with the people who would bring them out of me. These days, I know myself in one context only and I feel like I’m missing out on so much.
  8. If we’re in a bad place, it can be lonely. Every relationship has ups and downs and when we’re having a down, it can be really isolating. It’s easy to live in the relationship vacuum when things are good, but when they’re not, it suddenly dawns on me how much I miss having other friends. I also feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to about our issues, so it’s actually detrimental to our relationship not to have other people in my life.
  9. I want him to have other friends too. Loving someone means caring for their personal well-being. I want my boyfriend to have other friends too because I know it would be good for him. I think I’m pretty rad, but if I’m the only close friend in his life, he’s going to go crazy eventually. I know he needs other connections—people to turn to in times of need, just like I do.
  10. We both need a support network. No matter how good our relationship is, one other person is not a support network. We can’t ever fulfill each other’s every need so we need to find a community of people to connect with different parts of our personalities. Having our own individual friends is really important too. We’re separate people, living separate lives, and we would do well to remember that!
is an open-hearted fellow human, lover of vulnerability, workshop facilitator and blogger, and perpetual student of the universe. She blogs over at about the beautiful experience that is being human. Through her writings, she takes great pleasure in delving into conscious community, sexuality, communication, and relationships, and loves to help others to do the same. You can find her on instagram as @jazz_meyer or