I was scrolling through Instagram’s Explore page recently and I clicked on a photo of this half-naked girl lounging on a beach. Turns out, my boyfriend “liked” the pic. I didn’t think much of it until I discovered that he was doing this a lot. It seems as if my boyfriend likes other girls’ pictures regularly, and the whole thing is making me extremely uncomfortable.
- He follows hundreds of other girls. I’m talking 300+ accounts, most of which are girls. He did this before I met him, but I thought once we started dating, he would cool off on following sexual accounts. Nope! It’s still continuing and it makes me feel like I’m not worthy enough for him to stop needing to publicly engage with other girls on social media.
- He likes the same girls’ pics regularly. I’ve noticed he’ll like certain girls’ pictures more than others, usually when they’re wearing provocative clothing or just with their boobs out. This makes me feel like crap because who wants to be in love with a guy who publicly shows that he’s attracted to other women on a daily basis? I felt sick to my stomach when I realized that he likes loads of hot girls’ pictures when I’m not with him.
- He can’t just look at it and move on? Everyone finds other people attractive whether they’re in a relationship or not and that’s totally fine. You can be walking down the street and notice a hot person and move on and forget about it. My problem is that he’s openly liking and following all these girls and isn’t bothered who sees it—even me, his girlfriend. I get that people watch porn and look at whatever weird crap in their own spare time, but liking girls’ pictures on Instagram is like saying you want other people to see it and know that you find this girl attractive.
- It’s so disrespectful to me. I don’t know any girl who wants to be with a guy who likes other girls’ pictures all the time. The fact he doesn’t care if I see his Instagram activity shows a lack of respect and it makes me wonder if he’d rather be with one of those girls on Instagram than with me. I would never like and follow hot guys on Instagram because it’s hugely disrespectful to the guy I love, so why the hell is he doing it to me?!
- It’s actually a major turn-off. I’m so unattracted to him when I see that he’s looking at hundreds of hot girls every day. It makes me look at him in a different light and question if I really want to be in a relationship with a guy who’s looking at boobs and butts that aren’t mine all day. Men watch porn, right? So why can’t he just do that?
- It’s extremely immature behavior. I’d understand a teenager wanting to follow hot girls and sexy accounts, but as a grown man, how has he not grown out of that by now? Surely he’d be embarrassed to follow these accounts knowing his friends and family can see it, never mind his girlfriend? I felt like an idiot being with someone who follows hundreds of girls and likes all their sexy pictures.
- I feel very self-conscious about my body because of it. I’m not an Instagram model, I don’t have a perfect butt or big boobs and I’m not the girls in the pictures he’s liking. It makes me insecure that he’s looking at my body and comparing me to these gorgeous girls he seems to like. It makes me doubt myself and my body, which no guy should ever make you do.
- I’m scared to bring it up to him. I’m not a jealous girlfriend; I’m really laid-back and open-minded, but this is one thing that’s starting to really grate on me and hurt my feelings badly. I don’t want to seem like a nutjob by saying I’m not OK with him liking tons of girls’ Instagram pictures, but he’s in a relationship with me, and having a wandering eye is something I’m not OK with.
- It’s making me overthink everything. Being the detective that I am, I checked my ‘posts that friends have liked’ tab and he’d liked countless images of gorgeous women. I don’t usually stalk social media often but his behavior is making me want to check up on him to see what else he’s liked. I’ve never freaked out about a boyfriend’s social media before and I shouldn’t have to be now.
- I don’t know if I trust him as much anymore. Is my boyfriend as open to talking to girls on nights out when I’m not there as he is to liking them on Instagram? Is he messaging these girls too? His Instagram activity is causing huge doubts in my head and making me think I don’t know the real him and what his intentions are.
- I wish he was less obsessed with his phone. He has me in flesh and blood right in front of him, so why does he need to spend so much time scrolling through pictures of women he doesn’t know and will never meet? Isn’t the real thing better than some 2D image? Sometimes I wish he didn’t have a phone at all. It might help our relationship.
Why do guys in relationships comment on other women’s Instagram pics?
If, like me, your boyfriend likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram, it’s only natural that you’d be a bit frustrated, annoyed, and even hurt. However, it’s helpful to understand why guys who are in happy relationships do this in the first place. If you’re struggling to comprehend what’s going through his head, here are a few possible explanations.
- He thinks they’re hot. This is perhaps the simplest explanation for why this happens. Just because he’s with you doesn’t mean he’s suddenly lost the ability to see and appreciate beauty elsewhere. He might see a girl’s picture — a model, an influencer, a colleague, whatever — and think she looks good so he wants to express his appreciation. That doesn’t make it okay, of course, but it happens.
- He doesn’t really see a problem with it. It’s possible that your boyfriend feels okay when he likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram because he doesn’t see it as a big deal. After all, it’s not like he’s having an affair or sexting with her, so what harm is it to double-tap or even leave a comment with a few emojis? If none of his previous girlfriends have ever called him out on this before, it’s likely that he just doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
- He doesn’t think you’d care. Maybe he does know that it’s a bit flirty to be all over other women’s social media pages but he thinks you’re confident and secure enough in your relationship to not care either way. Of course, he could also be trying to convince himself of that just to relinquish any responsibility for his actions. Either way, you very much care and he needs to know about it.
- He’s just being nice. If your boyfriend is a Genuinely Nice Guy, it’s possible that he likes other girls’ Instagram pictures because he thinks it’s simply a nice thing to do. He knows what an ego boost social media likes and comments can be and he wants to brighten people’s days as much as possible. Of course, this is a load of BS as there are plenty of other ways he can achieve this, but hey, it’s possible.
- He’s considering cheating (or already is). Of course, it is always possible that he’s liking and commenting on these photos because he’s trying to get the girls’ attention or already has it and is basically outing himself as having an affair. You’ll need more than Insta likes to prove it, but it’s a red flag either way.
What to do when your boyfriend likes other girls’ pictures on Instagram
This is obviously bothering you — speaking from personal experience, I know how much it sucks — so you need to do something about it.
- Do your best to stay cool, calm, and collected. It would be way too easy to go into this conversation all guns blazing, but you don’t want to start shouting at him or accusing him of cheating. Men aren’t receptive to extreme emotional displays, especially when they’re blown out of proportion. Before you talk to him about this, take a deep breath and try to maintain your equilibrium. He’ll be much more receptive to what you’re saying if you do.
- Tell him straight up how you feel. There’s no use beating around the bush here. Tell him exactly how seeing him all over other women’s Instagram pages makes you feel and that you really don’t like it. Make it clear that you appreciate that he might not think he’s doing anything wrong but that it really upsets you as his girlfriend.
- Ask him not to do it. To be fair, once you tell him that you don’t like the fact that he likes other girls’ Instagram pictures, your boyfriend should automatically offer to stop doing it. He’ll hate that something as meaningless as social media likes is causing you such grief and a rift in your relationship so he’ll want to fix things immediately.
- If he’s unwilling to compromise, your relationship may be over. Only you know whether or not this is a dealbreaker for your relationship, but the fact that your boyfriend knows something really upsets you but is unwilling to change that behavior doesn’t bode well. It makes you wonder why he’s so attached to this behavior if it’s so meaningless and shows that he doesn’t respect you or care about your feelings. It sounds to me like it’s over.