Breaking up in 2018 is an absolute nightmare, with social media and smartphones making it pretty much impossible to end a relationship with anyone without your entire network of friends, family and the world knowing—not to mention the endless reminders of them in the form of pics, posts, and tweets. So what can you do to get over your ex sooner? According to Amy Chan, you go to a breakup retreat.
Yes, this is a real thing. Chan, the founder of the retreat, speaks honestly about her devastating breakup experience in the “About” section of the website. Her account of the feelings of depression and suicide that followed the end of her long-term relationship is all too familiar, which was part of her inspiration for the project. It took her years to recover and she wanted to create a space for people to process the specific kind of grief felt after a major breakup. Sounds pretty awesome to me.
You have to leave technology at home. You’re required to leave your phone, laptop, and tablet at home if you join the program—and let’s face it, it’s probably for the best. The constant flow of questions about your relationship status and lurkers on your profile to see if you’re going to delete all your pics or not can make a really crappy breakup even more stressful, thus amplifying the pain you feel.
You’re immersed in sessions led by a bunch of experts. From psychologists and energy healers to yoga and meditation teachers, it seems like you’re going to get a ton of support from experts at the retreat. Basically, you’re going to pretty much biohack, lifehack and psychohack your way out of your breakup to a place that makes facing the physical and digital worlds bearable again.
You live in simple luxury for a weekend. It sounds like this retreat is like a mini Eat, Pray, Love situation. For $1500, you and 15 of your new best friends will gain access to experts, organically cooked meals by an on-site chef, yoga and meditation sessions among a 17 acres of beautiful wilderness space. You even get access to a tantra expert! I don’t know about you, but this seems like the kind of pampering I need with or without a breakup.
It relieves a bit of the burden of breaking up in the digital age. How many times after a breakup have you regretted every single picture you uploaded of you and your former significant other? How much time have you spent deciding whether people will perceive you as being overdramatic for deleting them all? Social media impacts our lives in so many ways that can screw us up psychologically and emotionally, especially when we’re vulnerable and broken-hearted. In the past, I’ve mended my heart faster when I’ve been able to put down my phone, log off my computer, ignore everyone else, and dig deep to the root cause of my breakup. Going to a breakup retreat puts people in the perfect headspace to do this.
It’s another reminder that all you have is yourself. What stands out to me about this retreat is that it is all about healing yourself from the inside out and back inside again. Amy Chan aims to help you strengthen yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically so that when you re-enter your world alone, you have all of the tools to thrive. I think that’s pretty beautiful.
You might need more time than just a weekend. This retreat is only a weekend and that’s important to remember. If you’re looking for a quick fix to help you mend your broken heart, this probably isn’t going to be it. Relationships take time to build and when they crumble, it takes time to get out of the wreckage. What I’m saying is, don’t expect that this will cure you. If anything, it is going to give you the tools you need to move on in a healthy way.
Of course, a breakup retreat isn’t the only way to move on from your ex. Don’t have $1500 to spare on a breakup retreat? See if your insurance will cover a therapist. If you don’t have insurance or don’t have great coverage, you can probably find a licensed therapist to fit your price point. Breakup grief is real and it hits the hardest for people who underestimate how real it can be. For me, exploring help through a therapist helped me put my life back together in a way that even my best girlfriends couldn’t do for me.
You could always plan a DIY retreat for yourself. Sometimes you just need to get away from everyone, go silent on social media, turn off your phone and mourn the loss of your partner and your relationship. No, it’s not dramatic—it’s an important step in moving forward. Taking care of yourself is so important when you’re feeling vulnerable and hurting after the end of a relationship.
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