I’d been working too hard and wanted to gain some balance in my life, so I tried online dating and met a guy I really liked. Things were going well enough between us, but I eventually realized I’d rather be working than focusing on being his girlfriend. I left him so I could concentrate on my career and I’ve never looked back.
I was trying to put myself back out there.
I’d been single for a year and focusing on my career so much, I was practically cuddling with my laptop late at night. Sad, I know. So I figured trying to meet a good guy might actually be fun. I wanted to have a romantic relationship, and I figured now could be the right time.
Mission: find someone as ambitious as i am.
It’s not always easy to find someone who’s got the same priorities in life. I wanted to be with someone who was ambitious and hard-working, someone who wouldn’t be upset that I was working late all the time. I knew it would be tough and I was right.
I met a corporate guy with dreams.
One of the guys who grabbed my attention on the dating site was working in the corporate world but he was creative and had dreams to become a successful musician. I loved that he was creative like me and thought we’d be a good match because of that connection.
Then i struck gold.
Just as I met him, I got an amazing writing gig that had me excited but also downing lots of coffee to stay up all night. It was a gig I’d wanted for a long time and I even told this guy about it when we met for a real-life date. He seemed excited for me, but…
My work started getting in the way.
I was keen on going on more dates with this guy because he was so funny, smart, and interesting. But as we got closer and defined the relationship, the problem was that my work was becoming my number one priority, shadowing my relationship. I had to cancel some of our dates because I was so busy. Really, I wasn’t just saying I was busy!
He didn’t like it.
Naturally, he started to get annoyed because I was always nudging him further down my list of priorities. One night, he phoned me when I was working and said that someday I’d regret working so much instead of building connections.
Honey, i’m building my dreams.
I understand what he was saying and the fact that I was trying to find someone was proof that I agreed with him about having a good life balance. However, I wasn’t about to miss out on a chance to be doing what I love. That’s my dream and no one’s going to stand in the way of it!
He was stressing me out.
I was already working hard and trying to make things happen for myself. I didn’t need him to further stress me out. He regularly did that by complaining that I wasn’t always available. Don’t get me wrong – I could totally understand where he was coming from and why he’d be upset. But I didn’t want to feel like dating him was a chore.
I needed him to understand.
I knew that it was important for me to be in a relationship where the guy was totally on board with my work and dreams. He’d have to support me and be there for me without putting too many demands on me. I was still a great girlfriend, but I didn’t always have the time and energy for my relationship, and I needed someone to be okay with that.
I couldn’t sacrifice my dreams.
Yes, I could’ve had an amazing relationship with that guy, but it just wasn’t right for me at that time in my life. Focusing on my career and chasing my dreams were the most important things and I just didn’t have the heart to break up with my dreams to have a boyfriend. Maybe you can’t have it all at once, and that requires making important decisions.
I had to let him go.
He wasn’t happy in our relationship and neither was I. He wanted to have more of me, and I wanted to have greater support. It just wasn’t working, so we had to part ways. I felt bad and knew I’d miss him, but in my heart I knew I was making the right decision for myself and what I needed. He said he hoped my work would keep me warm at night, and I told him it was keeping me super-cozy in fact!
I have no regrets.
I don’t care if I seem selfish or crazy to choose a career over a guy (no rom-com producer would ever want to turn that into a movie), but I know that the most important thing for me is to choose where I want to go in life and focus on making my life the best it can be. Whoever I choose as the guy to stand beside me has to fit into that life plan. No apologies and no exceptions.
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