How many times have you heard men talk about blue balls in your lifetime? Probably quite a few. They claim that when they get hard but don’t get off, it’s like hell on earth. That’s obviously bulls**t, but it is true that it can be less than comfortable as an experience. But what about the fairer sex? Can women get blue balls? Also, what’s this blue vulva term all about? Read on for the answers to these questions (and a few others too).
Wait, what are blue balls again?
“Blue balls” is a slang term for the discomfort guys experience in their testicles when they get horny but don’t have the release of ejaculation. The term comes from the idea that the testicles might look a bit blue in color due to the increased blood flow to the area, but that usually doesn’t happen. However, many men do use this as an excuse to try to convince you to have sex with them (“Please?! Just the tip!”) or to make you feel guilty when you refuse to do so.
Any discomfort that comes along with blue balls (which isn’t a serious medical condition, we should add) typically resolves on its own or with ejaculation. In other words, don’t ever let a guy pressure you into sex you don’t want under the guise of him being in pain if you don’t. If he’s that desperate to come, hand him a box of tissues and remind him that he has two working hands.
Can women get blue balls?
Technically, no. Women don’t have balls, so we can never have the same physical sensations as men do with blue balls. That being said, we can still experience a certain level of discomfort if we get horny but don’t actually get to orgasm. This condition is aptly dubbed “blue vulva” or sometimes (and less commonly) “pink balls.” Because all women love pink, of course!
What’s blue vulva and what are the symptoms?
Perhaps unsurprisingly, blue vulva simply describes the uncomfortable feelings women can experience in our lady bits after sexual arousal without orgasm or release. While your vulva/vagina area certainly won’t turn blue or shrivel up or anything. It’s more of a feeling. Here are the symptoms you might experience with this condition.
- You have a dull or persistent ache in your vagina/genital area. It can sort of be described as a dull throbbing or pulsing sensation. You feel like something’s going on down there and you’re desperate to alleviate it but don’t know how. (Yes, you do!)
- Your lady bits feel sore or sensitive. It may be that blue vulva changes from a feeling of sexual arousal to one of sensitivity or soreness where you don’t actually want to be touched. It’s not necessarily painful, per se, but there’s certainly a bit of discomfort there.
- You feel a bit bloated for no reason. It’s hard to say why this happens since the issue is in your vagina and not your digestive system. Nevertheless, a slight feeling of bloating can happen with blue vulva. This tends to be pretty minor — not like you just downed two Cheesy Gordita Crunches from Taco Bell or anything — and resolves relatively quickly.
- Your vagina feels heavy in a weird way. It’s like all the blood has pulled there and it’s just weighing you down. It just feels… full. And not necessarily in a pleasant way.
- You’re irritable as hell. You know it’s childish and immature and you would never take it out on your partner. However, you can’t help but feel frustrated, pissed off, and kinda sad when you’re turned on and have no outlet for your raging libido.
How can you treat blue vulva?
It has to be said here that blue vulva isn’t a medical term or a recognized medical condition, so there’s no doctor that’s going to prescribe you anything or suggest any kind of treatment. That being said, you don’t have to sit around feeling miserable. There are things you can do to help yourself out and alleviate any negative symptoms you’re experiencing.
- Rub one out and give yourself an orgasm. This is perhaps the most obvious way to get rid of blue vulva (or avoid it in the first place). You don’t need a partner to have sex with in order to get that release. Sure, it’s nice to connect with another warm body in that way, but a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. Feel free to masturbate and get yourself off. You’ll feel so much better once you do.
- Take a cold shower. If it’s the wrong place and time to whip out your vibrator and masturbation is off the table, all isn’t lost. You can easily hop in a cold shower to cool things off, so to speak. Yes, it’s a bit cliche, but it does actually work. You’ll be too busy freezing your ass off to be thinking about having an orgasm. Viola, back to normal!
- Do something else to distract yourself. If, say, you’re at work or somewhere that you can’t hop in the shower either, this is the next best thing. The more you sit around thinking about sex, the worse your blue vulva symptoms will be. Time to flip the script and focus your energy somewhere else. Maybe clean the house, go run some errands, or do anything that requires a lot of brain power.
- Go for a run or a bike ride. Doing something physical that’s not sex can help get out that pent-up energy in a healthy way. It’ll not only take your mind off of having sex (for now), but you’ll also be doing something else that’s good for your body. Can’t argue with that!
