When a guy I really liked asked me to loan him $500, I had absolutely no problem doing it. Initially, I thought he was absolutely perfect in every way possible—he was educated, family-oriented, kind and even drove a nice car. However, as soon as the money transferred over, the all-around wonderful guy I thought I had found turned into someone I couldn’t ever imagine dating.
It made me uncomfortable that he asked me for money in the first place.
I’m the kind of person who’s always happy to help others. The only thing about all this that truly bothered me is that he asked me—someone he’d been talking to for less than two months—for money. You’d think he’d have closer friends or relatives who he could go to before he asked me, right? Apparently not, and that should’ve been the first red flag.
He wasn’t financially responsible at all.
What really stumps me is how someone drives a very nice new Mercedes Benz and still has to ask someone else for money. I could tell my dream guy was very bad at managing his money considering he had a full-time job and still couldn’t meet payment deadlines. That in itself was a huge turn-off to me. If you can’t afford to make a simple car payment, maybe don’t own a flashy car in the first place, right?
I started noticing his other faults almost immediately.
Perhaps at this point, I was just a little annoyed with him. For one, he sent the most annoying and pointless snaps. I don’t understand why I was receiving snaps of him making silly faces, bulging his eyes, and flaring his nostrils in the camera for a whole minute straight when he was supposedly a grown man. I suppose that was something I could tolerate, but I also began to notice that his road rage was out of control, and he would cuss non-stop in any given situation. Since I was already annoyed about the money situation, all of his other faults got so much more obvious.
He seriously lacked ambition and drive.
After lending him money, I began to pay a little more attention to what he was doing career-wise and I was truly confused. He graduated from a good school, earned a degree… and then got a mall job. Where do the dots connect?! While there’s nothing wrong with working retail, he seemed a little too comfortable working at a booth in the mall and didn’t actually want to put his degree to use. I started to realize that he was the kind of guy who made plans for the weekend, not for his future and his life.
He blamed God, his family, and his friends for all his problems.
This guy had a victim mentality through and through. I began to notice this only after I lent him money because he blamed his non-success on anyone but himself. He would constantly complain about how God never gave him his way and how his family and friends made his life so hard by never giving him handouts. He seemed to find a problem with every person in his life except for himself! Anyone could easily see that he was indeed the problem.
He was so ungrateful.
If someone had given me $500 of their own money, I can’t imagine not giving them the most genuine thanks and appreciation I’m humanly capable of. Not this guy. Nope, he gave me a cool, “Siiick!” and went on with his day, spending my money in dumb ways. I didn’t get a heartfelt thanks or any form of appreciation at all, for that matter. He just went ahead and used it.
He was always so self-absorbed.
I found the confidence kind of sexy at first, but after a while, it became clear this wasn’t confidence I was witnessing but straight-up narcissism. He very much believed himself to be better than everyone and thought himself worthy of anything, even my hard-earned money. After lending him cash and hearing him talk about how much he deserved it, I definitely didn’t think he deserved it after all.
I felt like I had so much more to offer than he did.
After giving him money, I realized how it made no sense that I, a student with tons of debt, was giving money to someone who had the means to go get a good, full-time, well-paying job. I’m a very independent and driven person; I worked, studied, and even ran a small writing business on the side. I liked to keep myself busy and strive for success, whereas he had graduated but had no motivation to get a job with his degree.
He actually tried to ask for more.
Oh yes, he really did. After blowing through my $500 dollars in less than a week, he came back to me and said he was actually in a tough spot again and needed just $300 more dollars. Thankfully, I wasn’t dumb enough to fall for that crap.
He’d talk about making money, yet I never got my loan back.
He would talk constantly about how he was going to be making lots of money in the near future. I got told about three different dates of when I could expect my money back and on each of those dates, I was fed some BS on how he wouldn’t be getting paid. Each time there was some new problem that was someone else’s fault and out of his control. Needless to say, he was promptly blocked.
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