Cuckqueaning Is The Sexual Fetish I’m Most Afraid To Try

We all have fantasies we’d love to have played out — sex with another woman, a cheeky threesome, some light spanking here and there, etc. While a lot of my fantasy scenarios are pretty innocent, there’s one that I’m still intimidated to bring into reality—it’s called cuckqueaning. As sexually adventurous as I consider myself to be, this one really intimidates me.

What is cuckqueaning?

If you’ve never heard of cuckqueaning before, you may be thinking, “WTF is that?!” It stems from the concept of cuckolding, where a man watches his female partner have sex with another man. It almost always involves some element of humiliation, degradation, voyeurism, and envy on the part of the cuckold (the one watching). Cuckqueaning is the inverse—a woman watching her man sleep with another woman —and it’s this that I find myself fantasizing about.

Couples might enjoy a cuckolding or cuckqueaning fetish for a variety of reasons. For some, they’re turned on by watching their partner having sex with someone else. Others find it sexy to have their partner watch them with another person. There may be a sense of power or submission involved, and it could play a part in BDSM. How this scenario plays out depends on the couple. However, as with all sex acts, enthusiastic consent is a must.

Why I find cuckqueaning so intimidating

  1. It’s a long-standing fantasy of mine. I’m not sure when or how it began. However, I know this has been a fantasy of mine for many years. It’s often the thing I think about when I’m chasing orgasm and it works like a charm every time. The intensity of the dynamics involved does something to me that I can’t quite explain. I find myself drawn to the idea of humiliation. The loss of control and the submissive elements are right up my proverbial alley.
  2. I had a taste of it once. I did once have the chance to watch my partner have sex with another woman. We were enjoying a foursome with another couple. That’s the closest I’ve gotten to really experiencing anything like cuckqueaning. In that scenario, though, one of the most vital components of the fantasy was missing — the humiliation and degradation of being made to watch my partner with someone else. That’s the part of the fantasy that most excites and most terrifies me.
  3. I’ve never been brave enough to follow through on it. There’s a huge gulf between enjoying a cuckqueaning fantasy and actually living it out. When I think about it as a fantasy, it’s a huge turn-on. But as soon as I imagine doing it for real, I feel a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. There’s a huge resistance to diving down that rabbit hole.
  4. I’ve talked to partners about it before. Since I became aware of this fetish, I’ve talked about it with several partners. The reactions were varied but generally positive and understanding. With each of those partners, we toyed with the idea of exploring it in real life. Still, we never came closer than daydreaming (or better yet, dirty-talking) about it.
  5. Some things are better in my head than in real life. Some kinks make for great fantasies but terrible real-life experiences. There’s every chance this is one of them and I’m very hesitant to step into something that can’t be undone. In my head, it’s easy because I control every part of the interaction. There are no surprises lurking around the corner, no jealousy, no danger. If I bring that fantasy into reality, I play only one part in a more complicated dynamic that involves—surprise!—real people with real feelings. It could be a complete trainwreck.
  6. I’m also afraid to ruin the fantasy. Because it’s such a go-to for me, I’m nervous about sullying the excitement of the fantasy with the potentially messy complications of a real-life experience. It’s a fetish I want to keep enjoying and that might mean it’s better to keep it only in my thoughts.
  7. I’m definitely curious, though. Since it’s something I’ve played through in my head possibly hundreds of times, there’s always a part of me that wants to know what it would be like in reality. The fear of actually experiencing a cuckqueaning scenario is balanced by the excitement and curiosity I feel around it.
  8. Complete trust is the ultimate prerequisite. There’s a huge potential for difficulties to arise in a cuckqueaning scenario, so complete trust between everyone involved is non-negotiable for me. It would be especially important for me to know that the other woman genuinely cared about me and was able to give support afterward. Likewise, I would want her to trust that I wouldn’t turn on her after going through with it. Lots of mutual love, support and trust would be integral to this fantasy working at all.

So, will I ever try it?

I think so. Cuckqueaning is something I really want to try, I’m just waiting for the right circumstances. Given my proclivity for adventurous sex, I’m sure the time will come when even this fantasy is no longer out of reach. For now, I’m biding my time, waiting for the right people and the right moment. I’m in no rush to fulfill this fetish and because it’s such a scary one, I’m happy to wait until I feel comfortable turning it into a reality. Until then, I can just keep on fantasizing…

is an open-hearted fellow human, lover of vulnerability, workshop facilitator and blogger, and perpetual student of the universe. She blogs over at about the beautiful experience that is being human. Through her writings, she takes great pleasure in delving into conscious community, sexuality, communication, and relationships, and loves to help others to do the same. You can find her on instagram as @jazz_meyer or