Most people never see their high school sweetheart again once they’ve graduated — it’s left in the past, rightfully so. However, I somehow managed to rekindle things with a lover I had when I was 15, which was a decade ago. Getting back together was interesting, but mostly it just failed. Turns out, we no longer had anything in common.
He was my first ever boyfriend.
Way back in the early days of high school, he was my first real boyfriend. We were together a year and that year was filled with passion and lots of love. It was also quite a tumultuous relationship with lots of problems, but I learned from it. No amount of toxicity took away from the fact that he was my first sweetheart.
He always had a place in my heart.
Maybe I’m just a cheesy romantic, but I often still hold exes near and dear to my heart long after it’s over. This was especially true with this one given our history, so I was kind of doomed from the start when we went to hang out. I’m not one of those people who can be casual friends with exes. I get too emotional and my heart gets the best of me.
We hung out to “catch up.”
He texted me every once in a while, but this time I had texted him. It was a random text, talking about a song we used to share. This lead to plans to get together to see how the other was doing. Turned out he got sober too, while I was already sober. I was excited to get together and see him. I didn’t think anything of it, though. I’d never of guessed it’d turn into something else. I should have known!
We kept hanging out.
After that first hangout, we really wanted to see each other again. It was a weird feeling for both of us, but we went with it, not knowing what was next. We continued to hang out with each other and it wasn’t long before we crossed the line from friends to lovers.
It quickly turned into a romantic relationship.
Only on the third time or so of hanging out, we talked about how it wasn’t a friendship. We both acknowledged that we had feelings for one another and were feeling lots of things when we were together. Unsurprisingly, knowing the both of us, we jumped into a relationship and were off running, head over heels.
It was magical at first.
The relationship had this odd familiarity while being fresh at the same time. It was clear and beautiful that both of us had grown in many ways. In some ways, things were the same, but mostly it was all new. We were inseparable. The magic lasted a short while, maybe a few weeks, then reality started to sink in.
Then I realized we were two totally different people.
He was no longer the person I fell in love with a decade ago (fortunately) and I was no longer the little girl he had adored. We’d grown in different directions, somehow finding ourselves meeting up. Incompatibility quickly began to reveal itself, specifically to me — I think his head was in the sand a bit more. I couldn’t deny the fact that it wasn’t working.
It ended because we had nothing in common.
He was in very early recovery from a heroin addiction while I had four years under my belt. That alone was enough to make it fail because he had so much work to do on himself. Further, we didn’t have any interests in common, didn’t really share the same political views or values, and lived different lives.
Love alone isn’t enough.
If relationships only worked out because of love, we’d have been a roaring success. There was no denying the care we had for each other. Unfortunately, I knew from previous experience that love itself isn’t enough. You need much more, like total compatibility on all fronts. I’m not saying you need to have everything in common, but there need to be no conflicts. This wasn’t the case for us.
I was glad we tried again though.
When it’s all said and done, though, I’m so glad we rekindled things and had a fun go. We really enjoyed being in each other’s company again and it was a blast from the past. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t do anything differently.
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