I used to be too shy or polite to call guys on their crap, and I attracted a lot of losers as a result. One of the major types I came across during that time was the cheapskate — dudes who thought that their lack of chivalry and basic dating manners went unnoticed and were thrilled to find a girlfriend that was low-maintenance. It seriously sucked and I’m so glad I’m over it. Learn from my mistakes so you never have to date guys like this:
They’re not just impolite, they’re immature. Even if you do speak up about your thoughts, feelings or needs, their stinginess will always find ways to resurface in the form of moodiness, whining, and passive aggressiveness. They’re absolutely fine with taking, but giving in any way is just too much for them. They’re used to having everything handed to them on a silver platter for free, so why should they have to spend time, energy, or cash?
Their lack of generosity with you extends to all aspects of their lives. Guys that are cheap aren’t givers and will always put themselves first, neglecting your needs in the meantime. Their minds are constantly busy calculating if they’re getting a good enough deal for themselves rather than giving the women they’re dating what you need and deserve. Every aspect of his “generosity” towards you will feel like something that needs to be repaid or a reward for you being “good” rather than a real act of caring.
They’re control freaks. Guys whose whole evenings are ruined because they had to “waste money” on a meal or a movie they didn’t like are losers who will ruin your evening and will try to make you feel responsible for it. You never get to pick the restaurant because they want to go where the specials are. You never get to pick the activity you’re doing unless it’s free because they’re “on a budget.” It just never ends.
They take you for granted and don’t appreciate you. You might be surprised to hear that those penny-pincher guys who never buy you dinner manage to spend ridiculous amounts of money on crap like kayaking gear or a collection of vintage Nikes. You’re cool with them being cheapskates, though, so you don’t mind, right? Ugh.
Your happiness will never be their priority. Guys who don’t feel joy in giving you something that makes you happy isn’t interested in making you happy at all. They only care about themselves, and that’s no way to live or love. If you stay with them, you’ll be miserable — you deserve better.
They see your kindness and generosity as weakness and stupidity. They think THEY kick ass for having someone as gorgeous, kind and easy-going like you without having to make the minimum effort. It’s a perfect situation for them — they get all the perks of having an amazing girlfriend without having to get off their asses. Don’t let them get away with that.
In the long term, you’ll just end up detesting them. You might be the most generous person on earth, but dating a real life Mr. Scrooge will change you. Even if the sex is mind-blowing, their cheapness will become the number one issue because you’ll eventually grow tired of their selfishness and realize that there are actually decent guys out there — you’re just not dating one.
You end up picking up their slack. You probably put a bit of effort into looking good before you go out on a date, and you probably spend more money doing so than guys do. The very least they could do is appreciate or even acknowledge that effort, so sharing the bill when you only had half a salad and a glass of wine and he had the Ribeye and five beers is a major turn-off.
You’re never really relaxed around them. Guys who are generous and not uptight about money, even if they don’t have that much of it, it’s much more likely that you’ll feel comfortable with them. This never happens with cheap guys. While you’re probably totally happy to go dutch or even treat your date from time to time, going out with guys knowing that there will be drama over the check or how much what you’re doing costs will make you anxious and probably leave you dreading seeing him. What’s the point?
It’s never really about the money — they simply don’t respect you. The cheapest guys can easily be the ones with the good jobs and big salaries. They brag about their expensive vacations and the cash they splashed with their work pals the other night, trying to make you feel like their chivalry is something to be earned. Some play power games with you and try to control you by making you feel you aren’t worth it. Don’t buy any of it — get out ASAP.
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