It’s been pretty much accepted that dating is the worst. You don’t even get your hopes up anymore because you don’t think there’s much point, and you’re sick of dealing with guys who don’t know how to talk to you, let alone take you out on a real date. But what if you’re just being negative for no real reason? What if dating isn’t as horrible as you think? Here’s why you should change your perspective:
- You meet new people. Dating is honestly just that: meeting new guys and trying to see if you feel a connection with any of them. You’ll hate some, you’ll love others, and you’ll feel super in-between about the rest. That’s pretty normal. You don’t adore everyone that you meet in a platonic situation, so there’s no reason to freak out about the fact that sometimes you go on a creepy first date.
- Every bad date gets you one step closer to love. With every first date, you’re that much closer to meeting the person that you’re going to really fall for. It may not feel that way, but it’s true. You’re definitely not going to meet your future boyfriend by sitting on your couch for the seventh night in a row watching Netflix.
- You have choices. You have way more choices than you think that you do. Sure, you might claim that despite the sea of guys on dating apps, you can’t find anything in common with a single one of them, and you never seem to like anyone that you go out with. But you haven’t gone out with every guy in your city or town, so that attitude is kind of nuts. You have choices and there are a lot of guys that you could meet. It’s up to you to decide who you want to sit across from making awkward small talk and drinking wine.
- You can enjoy the process of dating. When you’re single and you’ve decided not to date, guess what? You’re not going to meet anyone. More than that, eventually you’re going to feel pretty miserable about the fact that you haven’t found love by now. The best part about dating is the fact that, you know, you can actually go on dates. You shouldn’t forget the end goal just because the middle part is so frustrating sometimes.
- You don’t have to be single. Okay, so if you really wanted to find a boyfriend, you totally could. You could accept a second date from the next guy who asked and, boom, you’d have an instant BF. That wouldn’t be the best way to go, of course, since you want to make sure that you’re going to be with someone that you care about. But technically, you could do this. So why is dating so bad?
- You can be casual about first dates. By now, you’ve realized that getting your hopes up pre-first date is the worst idea in the world. So go ahead and treat these evenings super casually. Try to stay positive, have fun, and get to know the guy. You don’t have to make any big decisions.
- You’re in the driver’s seat. You have way more control of your love life than you think you do. You can decide who to ignore and who to pursue. You can make the first move or wait it out a bit longer. You can date all the time or take breaks. You can do whatever you want, and that’s pretty awesome.
- You’re always learning. You learn more with each guy you message, each date you go on, and each almost relationship you accidentally become a part of. You should embrace that instead of being negative.
- You know what’s wrong. You’ve been treated badly and properly, and you totally know the difference. Remember that and you’ll find it easy to walk away when you have to.
- You don’t have to take things to heart. So what if you just got ghosted for the fourth time in a row? So what if that guy cancelled your date an hour before or you can’t even get a date this month? You don’t have to take anything about dating so seriously. Let it roll off your back and try to enjoy the process. It’s totally your choice about whether or not you want to be miserable.
- You’re a red flag expert. Guys who don’t seem to have a job, an apartment, or any sense of ambition. Guys who might be dating a million girls or, worse, already coupled up. Yup, you’re pretty awesome at pointing out the red flags. As long as you catch this stuff early and move on, what’s the big deal?
- Sometimes you have fun. This may be a distant memory, but every once in a while you go on a first date that gives you hope. You laugh, drink, talk, and forget the time and place and that this annoying thing called dating even exists. Wait for that and you’ll get it. You just have to stay calm in the meantime.
