The texting habits of that guy you like can not only reveal some of the biggest red flags in the book, it can also clue you in on what his deal is when you just can’t seem to figure it out otherwise. If you aren’t sure whether he’s into you or what, pay attention to how he texts because if you notice any of the following, things aren’t looking good.
- He’s overly casual. You might think he must like you if he’s texting you every day and being super chatty in his texts. However, if he seems a little too casual, maybe he’s trying to convey a sense of friendliness… and that’s about it. If there’s no flirty undertone or overtone, it could be because there’s nothing else there.
- He sends you one-word responses. A one-word text is the death of any conversation. If a guy wants to keep talking to you, he won’t halt all conversation. Men who are interested keep it going and eventually direct the convo into an in-person meeting. If you’re only getting back the occasional “lol,” “yeah,” or “k,” it’s probably time to move on.
- He takes forever to text the hell back. He might be busy — aren’t we all? — but going days on end with no reply doesn’t mean he’s just caught up at work. If he wanted to talk to you, he’d find the 60 seconds (or less) necessary to type out a quick message to let you know that even though he’s swamped, he’s thinking of you. This is one of those texting habits that probably isn’t unique to just this guy, but it’s still not a good sign.
- He only hits you up when he’s bored. He has nothing better going on, so why not? He has you on the hook and this is how he keeps you there. Just when you think you’ll never hear from him again, your phone vibrates and there he is. Instantly you forget the fact that he forgot about you because if he’s texting you now, he must be interested, right? Wrong.
- Those three little dots disappear, never to return. Ellipses go straight into radio silence. What you don’t realize is his silence says it all. He thought about replying but quickly changed his mind. He saw your message and he’s choosing to ignore it. If that doesn’t tell you he’s not interested, what will?
- He leaves his read receipts on. You see the message delivered and then it tells you he read it, but is he texting you back? Nope. He saw it and he’s still choosing not to reply. He’s telling you he’s not interested without actually having to say the words. It’s pretty rude and immature, yeah, but it’s telling you he’s not interested pretty loud and clear.
- He doesn’t use any emojis. He’s not flirting. There is no emotion here. He’s keeping things plain and simple because your relationship is plain and simple. He’s not interested in anything more than a booty call. You can keep sending flirty faces his way, but the sentiment goes unreturned for a reason.
- He simply doesn’t text back. Ever. It’s not that he’s taking a long time. His phone isn’t broken; your messages are going through. You can try to come up with every excuse in the book, but the fact is, he’s ghosting you. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on to a guy who’s not a complete waste of time. This doesn’t come under “texting habits” so much as it does “this guy is a jerk.”
- He doesn’t check in when you haven’t talked in a few days. A man who’s interested will hit you up just to see how you’re doing. He wants to know about your day and when he can see you next. A man who’s only interested in sex only texts you when he wants just that. He doesn’t care about your day or your life. If it’s been days since you’ve seen each other and you haven’t heard from him, there’s probably a reason.
- He never texts just to text. If the guy likes you then he’s not just texting you to hang out. He’s sending you random texts with stuff he thinks is funny, carrying on whatever conversation you have going or initiating a new one, or checking in just to see how you are. He doesn’t make you do all the legwork. He wants to hear from you. If he likes you then he’s thinking about you, and if he’s thinking about you, he’s texting you. It’s as simple as that.
- You always make the first move. Sure, maybe he’ll hit you up when he wants to hook up or when he has nothing better to do, but usually, you’re the one to send the first message. You want to see him whenever wherever or even just talk. You’re desperate and it’s showing. Deep down you know he’s just not that into you, but that only makes you want him more. It’s time to face the truth, though, because when it comes to dating, the texts don’t lie.
- He’s texting other women. If you’ve noticed that you’re not the only person he’s texting and that he has several other women in his contacts list/in his active messages, there’s an issue here. Sure, you’re not exclusive so technically he’s not doing anything wrong, but it doesn’t bode well for your future relationship that he can’t focus his time and energy on you.
- He drops off mid-conversation. You’ve having a somewhat in-depth conversation via text when all of a sudden, he just disappears. This is one of the most obnoxious guy texting habits because you know he’s still around — you see him commenting on someone’s Instagram photo or sharing memes on Twitter — yet he’s totally ignoring you and doesn’t feel the need to explain himself.
- He turns every conversation into an innuendo. There’s nothing wrong with sexting — there’s a time and a place for that kind of talk and it can be really hot. However, if every message you get from him seems to have some kind of sexual undertone or is explicitly suggestive, that’s a serious issue. Isn’t he interested in you for anything else?
If more than one of the above sounds familiar to you and you feel like he’s sending you mixed messages, you could always just ask the guy straight up where he stands and what’s going on between you. Either way, at least you’ll finally know and won’t spend so much time obsessing over him.
Of course, you shouldn’t spend too much time overanalyzing his texts.
Yes, you can tell a lot about how a guy feels about you from how he texts, but it’s not really the whole story. Judging him entirely based on messages you receive (or don’t) can be a major mistake and end up ruining what could otherwise be a great relationship.
- Sometimes people do actually get busy. If he used to text you every day and now it’s gone down to every couple of days, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s lost interest. It could very well be that work has gotten hectic or something has come up that’s taking his attention right now. Sure, he could come out and tell you that directly (and he definitely should), but it would also be good if you didn’t straight-up assume the worst about him.
- Maybe he doesn’t want to come on too strong. If he’s had a bad experience before find dating in which the woman accused him of being too intense or coming on too strong, he could be trying to play it safe by not going overboard with messages. He could also be shy, preferring you to make your feelings and intentions a bit clearer before he puts himself out there. You could encourage him by mentioning how much you like him or going the extra mile once or twice. If he still seems a bit aloof or reticent, then you know he’s probably not feeling it so much.
- He could legitimately hate texting. Just because we’re all obsessed with our phones 24/7 doesn’t mean that everyone loves texting. Guys especially are not big on having lengthy conversations, especially via text. Maybe he prefers to use texting simply as a vehicle to make plans to see each other in person. In that case, it’s no wonder that he’s short and the contact is sparse. Try asking him to meet up and see if things are better that way. If so, you clearly have nothing to worry about.
It’s important to read the room, so to speak, to determine how he actually feels about you. This guy’s texting habits might be incredibly obnoxious but he knocks it out of the park when you’re together in the same place. Every situation is different, so you’ll need to pay attention and make sure you’re being honest with yourself when trying to parse out his feelings.